31/7/2012

dreams are dreams, nothing but a small short indulgence in one's sleep
dreams are dreams, nothing but a lived out sin, impossible in reality
to dream, to wish, to hope, to pray
for something, for a miracle, for a little love and joy in life
for the long lost innocent to return, for the unwanted memories to be gone
for those happy times to rewind itself, for those once close frens to come back
for all these despair to go away, for the once genuine smile to return once again...

IT IS NOT FAIR!!!!!

Ppl thinks tat I laugh and smile means tat I'm under ZERO STRESS is it?
I'm currently suffering frm hair lost, dandruff, breakouts on my finally stabilised skin (and may I add it NOT only on my face, I have breakout on my back and arms and literally all over my body), and not forgetting binge eating!!!!!
Think I should shut the fuck up? Mayb I should!!!
If not the injustice will simple continues...
I'm bloody sick and tired of everything CAN!?
For ppl who dun do most her job getting the same, or even more, benefits as compared to those to ACTUALLY does their job....
I DO NOT wanna start a shitstorm on that, and I do like my current workplace, but, how long can I keep this up?
I'm infamous for my foul temper and attitude, and so far, I'm behaving and controlling myself pretty well....and I'll have to say, EVERY FUCKING PERSON HAVE A LIMIT!!!!!
I do not wanna spoil the working environment, thus I'm behaving like a fucking crazy bitch laughing like nobody business....I pray the day when I go work everyday wif my fucked up shitty face will never come....

Sigh..

A fren asked if I wanna join her for a hotel BFT shoot in sept, If she manages to book the hotel tat is, I was like if it's on a wkend, sure~

But than comes the emo part, the part which u clearly knows the photogs are not interested in shooting u at all, and they are not keen to upload ur pic as well...so, to go for the shoot juz for fun joy and laughter and knowing u won't have much photos? Or reject the shoot in all and mayb do something else at home?

Was scrolling through fb newsfeed, and guess wad I saw?

One of my fren was tagged in his photo...at MBS...
And juz incase anyone's wondering, the "his" here is referring to the VIET guy.....he who I had a crush for so long, he whom I tot we could be frens forever if not a couple, he who had to look so unwilling when he takes pic wif me, he who I suspected had a crush on my close fren tat's y he was close wif me...

But wadeva, guess life juz keeps getting better, everytime I tot I was over him, something comes up and mixed up all my thoughts and emotions once again...

Afternoon heat is a killer!!!
Other than the stress at work, it's the other thing which never fails to give me a headache....
Well...time for my afternoon nap b4 the headaches starts again~

Cosfuck yet again!!!

Yep...
After 2 years of being inactive in cosplay scene, decided to make an effort to do a gd job this time round....
But guess I ended up failing BADLY again...self made weapon, tailored dress, and 90-120min of makeup...still cos-fuck.....
Y is it tat it looks alright b4 heading out, but became totally fail during event itself!???!!!!?