i dun even know why am i here now....
it's like when i stop being the loud and crazy me, it would seem tat almost everyone i noe would simply stop noticing me, and won't bother to talk to me.....
mayb i should return to who i was originally.....i'm not a loud person, and i dun like to be in a crowd.....never had much frens, for noone even notice i'm there....
and even though i'm not strong either, but by being non-exsistence, the only thing i need to worry are silence and loneliness....

should've seen it coming.....the seeds which my mom sowed.....
happiness is not something i should have, it's not something within my graps...
if this time it still doesn't work out....guess the only thing i could ever embrace is juz the dark cold abyss which i once ran away frm.....
for the world of lights still rejects me in the end............
heaven's gates.....will never open up for me.......happiness hides frm me as if i'm a plague or something.......the livings will never accept something like me, who's dead, yet still alive.....