stomach not feeling well almost every single day..and it seems tat the cause of it is my job..
yep~ my job!! when eva i get sick of the things i do, my stomach reacts this way..and if i'm still working in the environment, dizziness and nausea will soon follow~

gd job~ 9mth into this 1st office job, i'm getting job/work burnout~
but, if i hadn't agree to help out my boss's partner, the burnout might kick in much later..i'm still trying to stick ard till i've worked here for 1 full year, BUT, it's really getting depressing every single morning when i noe i gotta get my ass to work..soon, depression will start kicking in..oh wait, think it already has...=.=

but than again, ppl say when u noe u're suffering frm depression, it's means u're not..and tat when u think u need to seek help, u dont..since i'm at a stage whereby i think my depression is comming back and that this time round, i might need professional help.. .. ..dose tat means i'm perfectly normal, unless i succeeded in killing myself, and after i'm dead, i can seek help??

anyways, even if i really need professional help, and even need to be on medication, I WONT HAVE THE $$ FOR ALL THOSE!!!! mental issues are so so soooo much more expensive than those flu and fever..and it seems tat consultation starts right frm hundreds of dollars......i might as well spend those $$ on spa to chill and relax, which might help me feel better as well..

i can spot the main problem i'm having now, it's i feel no purpose in ANYTHING i do..and everything seems kinda meaningless..and the reason for needing help is, i can't seems to convince myself that all those things i'm thinking ain't true..tried debating wif myself..but it seems somehow, the negative side always wins?

i dunno how the hell i manage to talk myself out frm depression in the past, it seems tat those 'reasons' used in the past, was proven to not exsist..meaning life has proven me wrong, and i can't use those logics now as they no longer are valid...

so, guess it's juz me, myself, and the dark side of life..again...