if it was the guy i liked who sent me that sms, asking me to be wif him, think i'll be soooo delighted till i can fly~~~ ^^

haha~~ daydreaming here~~ i noe that's not gonna happen......

i used to debate wif myself
he's not the funniest guy i know, he's not the richest either
neither is he the one wif the hottest body, nor is he the most good looking guy
but he's the one i like the most
i've decided to stop these nonsense debating..
all that matter is, he's the one i like most...nothing else matter~
i've always said, all i wanted and needed is a guy who can make me smile frm the heart~
and juz seeing him does the trick~ ^^

sigh.......someone juz sms me asking me to be with him *again*....sigh.....
no matter how many times he asks, the answer will never change!!!!

it's almost the whole entire fb frens i have knows i've someone i like already, so y do these guys keep asking me out!?
gosh....esp the one who sms me juz only....i've already lost count of how many times i've rejected him!!!!!
i noe he's kind, he's kinda rich, he treats me really nice.....but....i dun feel that way towards him!!
i dun wanna hurt him, but i cannot accept him based on that reason alone........have to remove him frm my house warming guestlist even.....since he's still like this...and i dun wan any trouble, or any awkward moments during house warming.....

damn!
i kinda missing him alot already!!!
(and i juz met him lastnite for movie...so it hasn't been even 24hours since we parted)
i'm not gonna deny my feelings this time round...cuz it seems the more i dun wanna think about it, the more it hunts and hurts....so ya~ when i miss him, i'll admit i miss him...but not telling the whole world on fb, i'll do it here instead~~ (cuz #1, not much ppl read my blog, other than me and one or 2 of my fren.. #2, MOST ppl who read this, do not know who i'm talking about~ ^^)

weee~~~~
really seriously miss him already!!!!!
omg, wondering when's the next time we're gonna hang out again!!
but not anytime soon i guess....hope he's resting enough, if not, i wont need to pay any $$ to see the exotic PANDA!!!!!! ;p

and NO MORE FINE PRINTS WHILE POSTING MY FEELINGS FOR HIM!!!!!
lols~ xDDDD

i should avoid AT ALL COST doing things which will strain the friendship~~
i dun wan to think tooooo much again, by thingking tooo much, i'm not being very fair towards him...so i shall train to have better control over my thoughts~ ^^

last nite was gd~~
haha~ HE CRIED!!!!! but didn't get a gd look as i'm oso crying (and i dun wan him to see) ;p
movie was ok, very gd storyline (at least for me~)
it's been slightly more than 1 mth since i last met him, and it felt like 3 mth passeed already!!
when i saw him, wanted to ask if he missed me, but, i was so happy juz to see him, that qus dun matter anymore...(i simply can't stop myself frm smiling till the first few min, i cant look directly at him!!!!)

he look tired, and it seems he lost abit of weight..:(
seems to be busy wif many many stuff....(wish i could at least be of some help to him)
guess i really like him alot, cuz right after we parted, i miss him already (and like 2-3 min has passed only)
yes i liked him, and yes, i still like him, and more than anything, i want him to be happy...so if i'm not the one he wants, i'm fine wif it (i guess)..juz being able to see him, and hang out, makes me happy enough~ ^^

morning mini camwhore b4 i start work~~

^^

(only 2 photos cuz still semi sleep mode = blur blur)

ARGH!!!!!!
forgot to bring my phone out!!!!!
damn~
it seems that even b4 it's screen cracked into 1/2, my phone has been a not-so-importent thingy to me (it's main purpose has became to check time instead of letting ppl contact me)
after it cracked, i often forgotten to bring it out wif me~
hmmmmmm, ok, no need to rush back for my phone..
fren decided not to bring her baby to my place for my mom to babysit... ... ...
so yep~

I WANNA TRY THESE KINDA MAKEUP SOON!!!!

looks awesome!!

meanwhile~

i've tried the pale dying look makeup~

dunno y after i save the pic onto the com, it became this small... :(

it looks ok, though still need lots of improvements

weeeee~~~
at least he did reply to the fb pm~~~ ^^
but 'should be bah' hope is can make it......

think i'm done for the day..
sigh......he seems alot more busy than he was in the past...
wondering wad's he up to these days....wondering how's his study..wondering how's life for him..
sigh.....it kinda seem he would interact wif anyone execpt me on fb.....does that means he simply cannot be bothered?
or he dislike me till he dun wanna have anything to do wif me?
wad's the point of thinking so much, when he dun wanna let me know anything....
wad's the point, when there's a chance that i dun mean a thing to him....

yay~
work seem to keep my mind off things~~
so now..decided to pretend i didn't see anything..
gonna pretend nothing happened...^^

i'mma be creating log for my boss~~
wee~~~
today he never send me anything to do, but gave me access to create logs~
lols, think boss knows i no mood to call bah

WTF is wrong wif me!?
y can't i write properly!?
ppl say mind over matter, so if i keep telling myself i'm ok, y isn;t it working???

work work work work work work work work........
bury my mind wif work.....yes.shall try that rite now.....
need to focus on wad needs to be done.....yes....focus, even if it breaks me, i still have to work...even if i'm breaking down, have to wait till noone's ard...ican do it....i can.....i must......

i really dunno wad to think...
mind's in a mess, dunno wad to do, can't focus..
might be best for me not to make phone calls today...
paper work and log all the way...

save me, anyone, feels like it's breaking apart, something inside is hurting very much, my mind's confused, it's blanking out, save me shihui, i wanna cry, but i can't, not here, not in the office when there're ppl ard, but it hurts so bad, save me, anyone!

WTF!!!!
won movie tix for this thur, tot i wanna ask if he's free not..
go his fb......saw something.......not sure if he's refering to me.....:(
damn!!! y do i feel so insecure when it comes to him.....
my fren will sure tell me he might be talking about another person...
but i'm juz scared....i'm scared he really dun even wanna be frens.....
dun think i've cried this much for any other crush i had in the past...

Gmail's sign in to multiple account setting rocks!!!
so now i can work while blogging~~~
sweet~~~~~

zzzzzzzzzzzzz....having EXTEREME short attentions span now!!!!
=??
time to go home~
lols~

oops
cuz tat nite i slept in the office, now my boss wanna buy a foldable bed to put in my office......
when i ask him 'need one meh?' he tell me 'juz buy one put here, in case of emergency'
... ... ...lols~~
where to find foldable bed which can fit into the office!?

hmmmmm...have been slacking frm juz now, till ard after 3pm than really start work, till now, kinda not much diff frm when i chiong all the way frm 11am-7pm... ... .....weird~

still owes him a scarf, wondering if after i give it to him, will i have any other reason to bug him?

seeing one of my fren's fb status, kinda reminded me of my past..
she can still remember wad that guy was wearing, i can't
she remember how old she was, i can't
only thing i remembered was he was dark skin, alot older than i was, than his hands were very rough... .... .......one of the reasons y i was antisocial for very long.....and i stopped wearing skirt for quite a long period of time as well..

oh well, ppl say the past is past, but for some, it still lives on as memory.....which is not always a gd thing....

damn....emo again......

omg omg omg omg omg!!!
still stuck in camwhoring mode!!!
soooooooooooo hyper rite now (till my fren is kinda getting irritated working in the same office as me today~)
niceeeeeeee~

I.AM.SO......CARZY!!!!!!!!!!!!! @,@
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~~~~~
........never camwhore at yesterday's event.....sadddd.. :(
but atleast there's a fren's fren who's a photog, so ya~ forced him to take few pic for me~~~
when the pic is out, can see how well i did for my makeup yesterday~
(it's the kind look SUPER pale, like anytime can faint, can die, tat kinda make up...real life look really sick, but dunno in photo how it turn out)
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i wanna see!!!! hope faster up on fb!!!!!

time to sleep (again)....
hope this time round, i'll be able to go into dream land..
crying during almost every single anime (even though they're suppose to be shounen theme ?)
ya, maybe it's not the anime, but the crying which made me felt better...

time to dream, time to see wad my mind's hidding

had my supper!!!!!
but now comes another problem... ... .....
i'm toooo full to sleep.....but that, think one more ep of anime will do the trick..
the bigger issue now is that i kinda wanna go washroom.. ...but doors are locked already..hope it wont become urgent later, instead, it'll be best if the feeling would juz disappear~
ok!
another anime and it's off to bed~ ^^

failed...
was about to sleep...but my stomach ain't letting me sleep...now 'cooking' instant hor fan..
than i remembered, my late lunch/early dinner was not yet 5pm.. ... ...even if i count it as 5pm, it has been 7hours already....
so hungry...

goin to bed soon..
felt slightly better after watching some anime..

sigh...think i'm kinda pathetic, only things unreal such as anime and manga can cheer me up..
guess cuz ppl dun really bother to do so anyways....those who knows how to, can't be bothered, those who wanna cheer me up, dunno how to.......

oh, the anime's ending song finished already...guess it's time for bed..
might not be updating my blog for sometime again...laptop dead, so can only use office com = no blogging on wkends......
unless i decided to sleep over again~

(fyi, juz now the office phone rang, i almost answered!! lucky i didn't, if it was a client, it's gonna be so weird to have someone answering the office phone at this hour)

anyways, time to sleep

sigh~
why must boss be such a nice person this time?
now, i wanna die, oso cannot..
even b4 doin anything, i'm worried about him...
noone chiong work for him, noone chit chat nonsense wif him, noone entertain his jokes which dun feel like a joke at all.......

sigh.......

dont feel like goin back to that place now..
wonder how long can i stay in the office for?

i dont wish to see their faces

dont wanna hear their voices

wonder where can i possibly go

while not affecting my work

my boss has been very kind during the 6mth i've worked here

i dont wanna cause him trouble

how i wish i can leave this world rite now

but i simply cant

there's tonnes and tonnes of work to do next wk

if i were to leave now, he won't have enough time to hire new ppl to help him

hate everything ard me rite now

hate my mom for pretending to love me when she dont

hate my bro who juz goes ard enjoying spoiling my things knowing my mom will cover up for him

hate the fact that ppl ARE selfish

hate ppl who befriend others juz to make themselves feel better

hate the fact tat for some freak reasons, my mom never stops thinking i, her daughter, is a slut,
not even for 1 sec

hate that nothing seems to go right

hate that ppl simply loves nothing more than to abandon me, juz becuz they found out i'm have nothing they can make use of anymore

hate the fact that EVERY FREAKING PERSON have someone to love, and someone who loves them, except me

hate the fact that the one i love, i cannot love, as he does not like me the way i like him, and my confession has already done it's part of breaking even our frenship apart

hate the fact that i've done the irreversable

hate the fact that i can't stop hating myself for everything and anything

guess this is how it's gonna b in the future...
ppl busy wif their own lives, wif their other frens, and telling me i need to get a life and stop bugging them.....though not directly in ur face, but their actions speaks so loud and clear tat's it's hard to ignore the msg they're sending out...

sfter her attachment, there'll be tonnes other stuff she'll be busy wif, tat's juz the way it's gonna be.....she's soooo gonna be the same as my 2 best buddies back in sch days........who hadn't been able to meet me for like more than 1 whole yr already?

i dun even dare to wish for much during last yr's bday......but guess even a tiny wish is too much to ask for.......i dare not hope for anything this yr, even if i've to celebrate it alone, so be it......

it was nice chatting wif him juz now~~~
at least someone whom i can talk to, and wont be like asking me non stop wad happened, am i ok?
juz talk, normal topics, random topics, will be gd enough~~
not popping up on my msn suddenly, after like few mths of totally ignoring me, goin
'hey! u ok not? y fb like so emo like tat?? chill lah, u got me k?'
after awhile,
'sianz....so bored...entertain me leh'
or, sudenly 'haiz.....save me'
....... .......tat is like screaming out loud... ...for me to ignore him.........

oh ya...went pawn shop sometime last week, or last last week....juz now ordered pizza, i paid 50bucks, change, mom took.....i abit turn off.....when i told her tat 50 came frm MY wallet, she can argue back somemore... ....than i juz tell her, nevermind, u want the $$, u take.....

it's amazing how when her wallet is short of a note or 2, she can tell, but when her wallet 'suddenly' have quite afew extra notes, she didn't noticed at all..... ... .......-.-

chatting wif one of my fren who's a photog~~

my 'raw' = unedited pics~~
his 'raw' = a kinda format/file for pic!!!

and it took us quite awhile to noticed we's talking about the different 'raw'!!!
xDDDDDDD

my breathing is producing those sounds which ppl having asthma makes!!!
= i should be resting but i'm still not allowing myself to sleep!!!!!

wins~~~

[SUBBED] Nana Mizuki - Junketsu Paradox (Official PV)

fren shared this, and since it's nice, tot might as well share this here too~~ ^^

done watching fairy tail ep 92!!!!
but dun think i'll be sleeping juz yet......
i've yet to completely kick the habit of self-torture...
i kinda realised it only recently tat whenever i'm pissed off, or feeling superdown, i'll either eat nonstop, or i'll keep myself awake no matter how tired i am......
guess it's the only rite thing to do, as it leaves no scar, and no one will even notice.....

i kinda miss the feeling i got when i overdose by accident when i wasn't even 18 yet....too bad overdosing on panadol dun give the same feeling as when one overdosed on muscle relaxant......

when i need someone to talk to, can i call u on the phone?
talk about random stuff, u saying stupid stuff to make me angry but make me laugh at the same time..or even we say nothing at all, juz being silent over the phone, u doin ur stuff, randomly make some funny sound, and me, listening to u while i stone...
... ... ...
guess those times are over.....for u seems soooo far and distance frm me now.. ...

ps: i'm missing u badly now, but i noe i have to stop troubling u

....... ....... ........ ........... ............ ...............
it's indeed loading VERY VERY slow... ..... .......
sigh~
not even 1/3 done loading yet!!!!!!
zzzzzzzzzzz
think i'm not gonna sleep early tonite.......

juz had a nice warm shower!!!
and my anime is loading!!!!!!!!
even though it's buffering super slowly, i'm happy enough to watch juz this one anime now!!
FAIRYTAIL ep 92!!!!!

if one fine day, i ever post my secret, it'll only mean 2 things

1, i've found where i should be, wad i should do, and someone whom i can be wif
2, i'm saying my last gd bye~

.....rant till being super emo rite now.....

where are those 'frens' wheni needed someone to talk to??
oh wait, one is busy working, and having fun wif other frens, the other 2 guess they're busy working (has been soooo long since i last heard frm them, so dun really noe wad they're up to these days), and one, guess he dun even care anymore...

soo......the rest is on fb, entertain one another.....

wow!!
i really have wayyyyyy toooooo much frens till i've lost count!!!!
zzzzzzzzz

-.-

i'm ranting on fb till i'm crying now...FUCK!
but it kinda felt gd, at least my eyes are not hurting frm being tooooo dry~

stupid singapore gov, they make everything sounds so noble of them..
got 2 fren talked back to me regarding my fb status...
one of them, she's not even a singaporean, the other, she's born into a reach family, and family decided to groom her into a lawyer when she was still in pri or early sec sch...

say i'm not being fair to our gov by saying such mean things about them..
they're not me, ofcuz they wont know how i feel.....
theu're juz some lucky kids who grew up in well protected family, and tat protection lasted even till now...

when a child grow up in a protected family, or a heck care family, and it all breaks down when they're older, BUT not old enough to know about many things, is when all the shits happens...
my family broke apart when i was ard that age...not saying that i had the worst childhood, juz saying tat's i'm one of those many who didn't have such a nice one..

ps: this whole angry had nothing to do wif the fact thet i was rejected by someone who's not singaporean

WAH!!!!!!!!!!!!
cough till kinda wanna die... ... ...
sigh........how long has it been since we last met.. ...
....think cuz my anime not loading at all, than i've nothnig to do, my mind tune back to tat channel...-.-
watch other movie!!!!

ps: i'm thinking back on that time we 1st met

eyes still burning!!!!!!!
my eyes are dry beyond believe these days!!!!!
if it continues, i might have problems working in the future... ..... .....
need to buy eye bath solutions if it continues to be this dry for the whole of next week...

ps: i miss listening to u playing the piano, but i guess u'll never noe

WEEEEE!!!
went for photoshoot this morning!!
..... .....ok, more like this afternoon~ ;p

fren loan me her lolita dress, and yep~
it's sweet loli!!!!!
was kinda worried it might look very wrong...
but turned out it kinda look ok~

waiting for the photos to be out~~ xDDDD

ps: i miss those time we had in the past, but guess u'll never noe..

seriously, couldn't care less for singapore...
for the gov has not been helping it's people, so y should i feel a sense of belonging to them?

i'm not gonna wear a freaking red T-shirt for today juz bcuz it's national day......
and i dun see y ppl are so happy about it?

yay!! we're independent as a country, a nation!!!! hurray!!!! 1st 25-30yrs it DID look after it's ppl!! now, sg is 46, and it's ppl has now became the last on it's list of those to look after....FT, PR, all have advantages, most things, regardless wad the gov say, they comes 1st...when by right, they ARE suppose to be 2nd class citizens!!!!

i'm juz voicing out my opinion...i dun hate FT or PR (those freaking perverts not included here, those aren't even considered humans to me), the ones i hate is the gov of sg...
put me in jail for all i care, at least, in jail, they're feeding the ppl there, outside, it juz seems they're doin everything they can to snatch EVERYTHING away frm a avg income family...
still want it's ppl to make more babies....they go do research on other countries, which countries wif high cost of living, have a high birth rate as well?? when it's juz nice to survive the daily rat race, how many will wanna risk having children, knowing well that they might not have enough to survive if they have to rise a children as well...and on top of that, knowing well that if one fine day, things went really bad for them, the gov WILL NOT help them.....

people who think sg is a nice country, wif gd gov who takes gd care of it's ppl...those are all history....now, the only thing sg gov is looking after, is themselves, and not their ppl....

i'm hoping not to miss him...
but it seems tat if i say i dun miss him anymore, i'll be lying to myself...
esp when there are ppl who can tell i'm trying to keep myself busy and stuff..
y do i always get stuck in the same situation?
y y WHY???
damn it!!!
shall i try to over work my body till i'm half brain dead once again?
hmmmmmm...not at the moment..i can't afford to be in tat state for now...

JIA YOU!!!!
I CAN DO IT!!!!
surviving is about living life day by day, as time goes by, juz as it is..

damn pissed off.....
sigh...some ppl are not worth the effort...
so, he left me no choice but to block him on fb...
i dun wanna waste any more breath talking to such a person...

how i wish to see at least an sms frm u....
sigh.....
nvm....

nice~~~~
had lotsa fun juz now~~
kinda had some feedback on my up comin photoshoot's outfit~
and hahaha...got to noe more about some of them...
and...LOTS of leftover beehoon!!!!
zzzzzzzzzz
should've fried 1 pack enough.....now have SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoo much leftover.....
-.-

weeeee~
another fren can't come!!!!
her mom last min dun allow her to come...zzzzzzz...sadddddd :(
bee hoon done~
wondering wad else....oh ya~
drinks later than make, dumplings later than fry, mom say like tat taste better~~ ^^

MUAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA
everything is ready!!!
juz need to cook, and later go buy ice~
NO EMO ELMO ALLOWED TODAY!!!
and hope my bro dun come try to extra extra when my frens comes~
and he's not feeling well, better hide in his room for the whole day, wanna smoke oso dun come out smoke!!!!!!

they're gonna see my collections of books, cuz i too lazy to keep them away~ ;p
haha~
gonna continue tidying my bedroom juz abit more! (it's juz stuffing all my unfolded clothes somewherepl cant see~~) xDDDDD

bye~ ^^

yawn~~~~
goin to bed really soon!!!
kinda worried how the mini gethering will bwcome later....those who i really wish they could come, dun think even a single one of them will be coming...but either way, i've to try to make it ok even if it really turns out to be a bad get-together......

and someone juz replied on the wall tat he can't come...kinda expected tat answer....cuz for some reason, even though i dun really knows wad's goin on these days wif him, but it kinda feels like he has got lots of stuff goin on.......mayb it's true, or mayb it's juz me wanting to believe he's busy...

and everyone's VERY busy!!!!
my lao san working, no news frm another fren... ... ...and my 2 buddies working as well......
and by the looks of things... ... ..oct even though it's when the official house warming's taking place... ... ....dun think the turn out will be gd... .... .......
sigh.....guess tat's wad i get for being the anti social bitch......HAHA xDDDDD
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
ok, goin to bed at 2.30am!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gonna start writing stories here...
dun think anyone's gonna copy as it has been sometime since i last wrote anything...
so ya~
gonna seperate those by adding 'story' to the heading/title thingy!!
(as ppl who have read my blog knows, my normal post do not have that heading, i'm to lazy to 'name' all my post!!!)

comments are welcome~!!!!

story (havent come up wif the title yet..)

when i'm down, lost, and wary..
who will be the one providing a shoulder, a shelter frm the storm, and a place for me return to?
had always wished for Death to be the one, but he has indeed been kind...

he's there wif EVERYTHING i want and need, yet, he kept pushing me away..
telling me, 'it's not time for u to come yet' wif his gentle, caring voice..
'Patient, my dear, patient...in gd time to come, we'll be together for all eternity. BUT, for now, enjoy the warmth and light in the world of the living. Enjoy all those times, be it gd or bad.'

and in his embrace, he always assures me that even when the whole world rejects and stands against me, he'll be there, watching over me...

WEEEEEEEEEEEEE
juz created 2nd fb ac!!!
mainly for gaming purpose~~ ^^
and to rant and nag and entertain myself wif!!!

YES!!!
i'm gonna talk to myself on fb soon!!!!!
dun careeeee!!!!!!!!!
since i'm bored.....and since i'm goin crazy already, might as well stalk my own fb, than to go stalk other~
(even though i dun stalk ppl on fb, more llike, i spam ppl like crazy, but noone tat free to entertain me these days = entertain myself!!!!)

fren says i get worked up easily this few weeks!!!
mayb cuz there has been quite a number of issues happening...
and ESP this week, high chance it's bcuz my fren came back to work...
and...

i'm not allowed to on the fan = no air vantilations = serious mood swings

she, blasting music loud on her com = i can't make calls in peace = stressed

she, suppose to go back @ 5pm, stayed till almost 7pm juz to facebook =

my fren cant use the com to check wad she have to do =

my stuff cannot be done in time = stressed again

there~
reasons y i seems soooooooooooo angry these days~

YES!!!!
found hair extensions on taobao!!!!
lucky i noe the few name it has in chinese~~~
if not....searching there in english can make ppl vomit blood!!!!!!!!!

even after all i've said, even after all i try to do, i still can't keep my mind off u..
sigh
can someone enlighten me juz wad's on ur mind?
i dunno wad's on ur mind, but u seems to noe wad's on mine
WHICH IS NOT FAIR!!!!

wad am i to u?

why did u simply block off everything??
i seriously dunno wad u're thinking, and if u dun tell me, i'll never noe..

i grow up not knowing how to interact wif ppl..

i grow up not knowing how ppl behaves, how they think..
my phone might have spoilt in the rite time..
this way, i cant bug u through sms
fb, i've been busy ranting and nagging juz to keep my mind occupied...

my killer heels!!!!
has been in the store for very VERY long!!!!!
gonna be wearing it for a photoshoot soon~~~~ ^^

suppose to blog about how my weekend went..
but...toooooo tired to do so..
so, to sum it all up

sat was so awesome till i now having torn muscles in both my legs, and neck & shoulder aching!!!

sun was fun~
if not for 'makana', it'll be even better~
but than again, she went back home early, so ya, glade tat attention seeker knows tat her tricks dun work on most of us, i tried to get her involved once, she attitude me, tat's it, she's gonner!!
and i got the wig from my fren, whose bday we celebrated today, and my hubby had fun wif my frens (though he was emo-ing most of the time) but at least he mix ard wif them!!! ^^

i'd love to blog about streetfest rite now..
but i've to go shower and go rest after tat..
had toooo much fun till brain not functioning well rite now...
shall blog about it tml~
as well as elkanah's bday thingy~~~~

someone who has not been in contact juz appeared on msn...
sigh...wad time already still wanna make me scold him over msn...
sooo damn naggy!!!!
i'm kinda like his mother, even though he's already 30++...
sigh........y like no matter wad age group ppl belong to....they all treating me like i'm their mother??
the only guy i can joke and laugh wif, now oso giving me cold shoulder.....=.=
damn~... ... ... ... .. ... .. ... .. .. .

oh ya~
this's the present for him~~

^^

now he locks his wall on fb...
dunno wad he's thinking..
anyways~
already done wif my fren's bday present!!!
hope he likes it~~
haha~~~
and for sunday only, i'm not gonna rape him~~ xDDDD

hmmmmmm...think i saw his 2nd fb ac!!!!
... ... ...
. . .
=.=
y shuld i care rite?
damn!
hate these sudden mood change...
and more often than not, it has something to do wif him.....=.=
gonna drink my sake now!!!
was gonna save it for tml, as i normally am kinda picky about wad glass i use to drink my sake wif.....and i do not have it here in the new house yet.....
i mean seriously!!!!
THIS GOTTA STOP!!!!
i cannot allow my feelings and mood to be affected by everything about him!!!!
seriously....this time, it's really so diff frm the other times..........sigh...
anyways....the thingy is not in eng, but i see '1 mth' so......god knows wad it was about!
damn...ok..gotta stop gotta stop gotta stop gotta stop gotta stop......

emo juz now while in the office....
than i've realised i can no longer remain sane when i'm alone.....

at least, not now....

so i bought a little something which i love~~~

to keep wad's little sanity tat is left in me...

so at least i can sleep wif ease tonite...

~SAKE~

overcome wif sadness
my heart aches wif every beat
how can i erase these feelings i have
how can i find myself back again

i know he dun really like me the way i like him..
but somehow, i simply cant stop smiling when i sms him, or chat wif him....
how silly of me...yea i noe....but i juz cant help it...

sling pouch for my lao san~~

wif button on it as i've somehow hoind my needle, only 1 left, but tat's quite enough for now~

my collection of sewing threads!! these colourful balls are made

only ard 60% if it though ~~ using those sewing threads

juz in case u're wondering.. if i remember correctly

nope, i dun sew, it's called "TEMARI"

neither wif machine nor by hand hope i still remembers how to make it

O.O
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
next week MUST watch master chief!!!!!!!
ok...SERIOUSLY time to sleep...
nite~

feels like july is passing by sooooo slowly~

frm another pt of view..
there's a chance tat he juz wanna spend some time wif me, and not in a big crowd....

but than again, i'm a person who has been proven way tooo many times wrong,

wif regards to looking on the brighter side of life.....
anyways~
laundry 90% cleared within 3 days!!!!!!

or was it 4 days??? o.O

hmmmmm...dun matter~
at least i'm the only one who can clear those dirty clothes this fast~
(random change of topic, but heck care!!! brain not functioning well rite now~)

*===================*

// I.NEED.THERAPY.!.!.! \\

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

juz saw on fb....
so the importent things he had on yeasterday was meeting other frens...
but i'm thinking...y cant everyone hang out together since i noe them too.. ... ...
hmmmmm......dunno wad's goin on....mayb they didn't wanna see me.....
even if tat's the case, guess it's expected..........nothing last forever....they might once be my fren...ppl change......
guess all those "hey long time no see! let's hang out together someday k?" weren't true..
mayb cuz i dun buy/wear/use branded or something....
.......sigh..........
nvm..........preparing to spend my bday this year alone.....go jb, or mayb genting....wonder ard somewhere in sg, alone............
mayb i was the spoiler......mayb he didn't wanna meet me at 1st.....
mayb....mayb........well...i dunno wad to think rite now..............

took a nap~~
whch only lasted few min.....sneezed till i woke and can't sleep....=.=
now watching tv....so boring~~
waithing for anime to buffer......so slow....:(
sigh~~
guess i'll take another short nap while it buffer~~
there's like nothing gd airing on tv rite now......=.=

my 'uniquely mine' phone~!!!!!

the numbers on the keypad are long gone, so is the small tiny button at the side....

and somehow, the 'call' button disappeared last night!!!! (w/o me dropping my phone,ya noe)

so now......it has gone frm unique to a whole new lvl of epicness~~~

now......wonder where and how to change it's keypad.....
the phone is soooo old till it's so hard to find it's stuff outside!!! ><

hmmmm
i'm already awake!!!!
damn! it seems like eversince moved into this new home, i've been waking up ard 7 - 8 plus in the morning!!!!!!!!
i wanna sleep more!!!!!!!!!!!
guess i'll wait for afternoon for some 'beauty naps'~~ xDDD

think i'm goin to bed soon.......
feeling my eyelid is getting heavier and heavier...
now in the process of another thing...hopefully can finish it soon, so tat i can move on the the next one.....
have tonnes of projects waiting in line.....
and hopefully and finish ALL the projects by end of this year~~~~~ ^^

2 pouch i've made!!!!
buttons yet to be up cuz no needle at home....;p
hahahahahaahahahah~~~
more to be up~~ ^^

wah~~~~
hungry again!!!!!
hmmmmm.....nvm, dun eat.....too tired to go buy cabbage for soup juz now, so it's punishment to be hungry now~~~~
noe wad i'm talking about???
no??
hahahahahaha~~ xDDDDD
it's ok~ ^^
i dunno wad i'm talking about here either~ ;p

hungry!!!!!
waiting for clothes to dry.. ... ... ....sigh......damn slow!!!!!
nothing to cook yet~
gonna call delivery.....after eatting, gonna go market buy something to cook for dinner~
CABBAGE SOUP~!!!!!!
^^

almost fell out the window juz now~!!!!
epic fail!!!!
small room can hang clothes outside, and since i'm sick and can't go out today, decided to stay home and clear those clothes which needed to be washed...
and sooooo many places my bro dun wanna put, go put lots of bulky item and boxes below the window......
best of all, it's not the 1st time i almost fell out the window, so my body kinda know how to react.....but the area juz below chest lvl hurts like hell... =.=
wahahahahhaahhaha...
need to wait for those up to dry, than 2nd round~~
later need to sweep and mop floor.....my mom always complain tat she still have to work and do housework even when she's sick....
at least i help out....but when i'm sick.....noone help me do my stuff...and u dun hear me complain about it alll the time.......
juz once in awhile....i nag about it....
haha..ok~
shall blog later...if i remember to~

suppose to be updating on how my day went, but suddenly felt emo ad tired...
so, sleep 1st, blog another time!

llalalalalalalaalalalalalalalalalalalala~~~~
walked home in the rain BARE FOOTED!!!
^^
felt soooo nice~
haha...now watching channel U japan drama~~
wait till break time, go clear kitchen...show end, go shower~~~~
^^
after shower, more updating of blog~~ xDDDD

OMG!!
there was a fire ard the area which i stay and i dun even noe about it...
and it almost seems like everyone in my fb knows about it!!!
hahahahahahaa~~~
epic blur~
ok~
gotta go shower than go work!!!
stupid rain, my clothes already dry, now need to wait till tonite than can take down.....=.=

ok lah~~
time to go bed!!!
eh..b4 tat....shower 1st~~ ^^

LOOKING FORWARD TO THE WEEKEND~!!!!

hmmmmmmm......
sigh~
dunno wad to do!!!!!!!!!!! :(

OMG!!
i saw my bro helping me unpack my stuff when i got home!!!!
*clap clap*
when he's nice, he's kinda very usefull~~
guess all tat 'cursing behind his back' worked (for now, for the time being)~~ ^^

aiyo....
headache ah headahe.....
air vantilation in new house abit.. ...not so gd.....
sigh~

this was how my house look like after all items have arrived frm the storeage space...and after done with unpacking the kitchen stuff~
soooo much mess!!!

this is after few hours of unpacking...... ... ...
kinda seems like no diff rite?
took afew short breaks in-betweens due to gastric

THIS IS HOW IT LOOKS NOW!!!!!!
still few cartons here and there...but the issue is no place to put them up for now!!
LOL

time check: 0957h

i'm awake, had breakfast, even went and came back frm market already!!!
.....damn stone till can't even watch anime properly!!!!! =.=
anyways~
it's sooo gonna be a gd week~~
wif pulled/torn muscles on both arm, tired legs, aching feet, sleep deprived me....oh ya, and a not so gd stomach = WOOHUU!!
haha...waithing for the house movers to move our old stuff in.....
shall stone while watching anime while waiting!!!!

sleepy sleepy sleepy cat wanna go sleep liao!!!!
好开心！！他正常了！！！！！会回复我了！！！ ^^

kinda hate online translater sometimes!!!!
now i'm worried!!!! :(

stomach pain!!!!!!!!
finally all new furnitures and houseehold appliance in!!!!!!
so now after shower gonna go market buy stuff to stock up the fridge!!!!
and everything will be over tml!!!!!!
final round of stuff coming in frm the storage place!!!!!

packing 65% done!!!!
LOL
now i feel hungry, and sick!!!
sigh~
since morning listening to youtube till now~~~~
morning - afternoon = facebook flooded wif kpop videos
laternoon - now = facebook flooded wif jrock videos!!

spamming facebook wif video!!!!!
while i'm packing~
DAMN PRO!!!!!
xDDDDDD
=.=

some ppl never change!!!
last nite went clubbing wif joy, bump into an old fren, well, not really fren, but ya..
he looked kinda more settled down when i saw him, but in the end, still flirting wif me...=.=
sigh~
juz ignore ignore AND ignore~~
juz like how i'm being ignored rite now....

我好后悔和他告白。。。
因为现在的我就连在普通的朋友也比不上。。。
先在的我对他而言，是一个让他躲都来不急的怪物！！

guess i really dun deserve anything gd to happen my life.......
上一代造的孽， 下一代来还。。。
我妈所造的孽，将会报应在我身上。。。

yesterday, went interview at a lawfirm cuz i need a better paying job, w/o letting my current boss noe..
my dear lao san didn't noe i haven't told my boss, so she told him i went interview when he asked her where i went~
today, my boss offered me a pay rise, which ended up he's paying me more than tat law firm~!!
so, i called the law firm telling them i've got a better offer elsewhere, thus, will not be working wif them, and guess wad~
they threatened to sue me!!
than i reply them 'ok lor~'
HAHAHAHAAHA!!!!

after tat, i go read up those things on MoM site~~ ;p
and by law, even if i signed the contract, as long as i did not turn up on the 1st day of work, (and since i've even already given them notice), the contract is not valid!!!
go ahead and sue me lor~~ ^^