day out wif sof..!!!!!!!!!

2nd day of offday and went out wif my best budd..=3
basically rested the whole day on mon..so was really glad that i got to go out wif him..;p
went bugis for window shopping..:3
haha..was sooo in diva mode juz now..till he oso like wanna slap my face..;p (juz joking)
no money still wanna say this not gd enough, that got something lacking..etc etc......
haha..*sigh*..kinda over spent this mth (on cab fares..><) and now my mom oso not enough cash to lend me..than thinking how to go Heart of Darkness this fri, 2nd oct sia....><
even if i put my hope on company's tips..how much can we get..???
think if can get like ard $30-40 i'll be super happy alreadi..than mayb try to borrow $10-20 frm my mom than can party..;p
at most dun cab back..instead can take bus back since it's fri got nite rider..
hmmm.....guess it's official that my dad is cutting off the monthly allowance thingy for real..(which is actually against the divorce agreement=against the law)..but if wanna sue/take action against him will be so troublesome..like go talk to lawers than lawers will have to talk to him..and all the blame game will start and never end.. .......... ........... .......... .......... ........... ..........
tired of always having to chase him for the money which he should be giving automatically..
cuz it's part of their agreement, not that i'm begging for it..but i've alreadi seen it coming even before this day arrive..he can suddenly stop supporting my studies and i have to pay my own sch fees for my sec 3 & 4 year, in addition, pay for the 'o' lvl exam fees too..and have to survive by going to my aunt's house juz to have dinner..and have to have my friend buy me food when in sch..sometimes goin to their house to study and have dinner.. ........guess better stop here..noone needs to know too much since noone's gonna belive these shits anyway..except those who had really been there wif me..anyways..those days are over..and this family is better off without him here now..sometimes juz wish he could juz go change his mailing address so that we won't have ANYTHING to do with him AT ALL...
~神様、私の魂保護するどうぞ ~pls do watch over my soul~

it's over.. ...^^

YES!!!!!!
F1 is finally over and so is confusing nite of chaos..;p
i managed to be quite smily treoughout both nite and i think that's kinda gd..(even though i did sorta attitude some people.;p)
on sunday nite i was sorta stunned by one of the bosses..it's like it's my job to smile when there're guest ard too rite..??
and there was this 'human jam' at a certain area while i'm trying to go the other side to get drinks..so i juz stand there for while to wait for the jam to clear up, or at least for it to not b so jammed than i can cut through the traffic..and i was smiling while waiting..didn't notice that he was standing right @ the end of the jam..so as it people was moving, i was juz smiling, than they stopped and i saw the boss standing there..he was juz looking ard then he sorta saw me..than dunno why suddenly he like turned back and looked @ me like as if he saw something..he looked like abit stunned, than he smiled..(??)
so after he continued to where ever he's goin..i was left there..actually i'm nore confused than anything..i manage to remember that i was on my way to collect drinks after juz a few secs..

anyways.everyome's glad it's over now..looking forward to DJ ACEE in the house on 7th oct..^^

F1 nite TONITE..!!!!!!!

yeah..!!!!!!!!
tonite's the 1st nite of F1 nite...seariously don't know wad will happen later..it's really make it or break it kinda thing..and we CAN'T break it..so to make it is a must..
and one gd thing happened last nite..^^ H had a small chat with all of us and i had said wad i had to..hate me if they wanna..backstab if they wanna..wad has to be said has to be said..and if it's anything..i didn't wanna say it @ 1st..but think H more or less knows something is goin on tat's why he wants to talk to us..and he's the one who wants me to talk..so i talked..;p
ok..back to F1..神様、私の魂保護するどうぞ !!!!!
dunno why but am feeling so tired now..but if i'm gonna faint of fall sick or even die oso gotta wait till after sunday nite..shikigami can wait if they wanna take my soul..no matter how eager to meet the Death who's gonna take my soul, but just not when i've something which i must get it done..thnk the next update will most likely be monday..which is my offday..!!!!!!!
ja-ne~^^

UNDERWORLD..!!!!!!

went for underworld after work early this morning, ard 3-4am, @ suntec hall 603..
the place was f**king HUGE (cuz think actually they open hall 602 oso..) but quite empty...
hmmmmm...mayb people left early since doors opens @ 9pm..
had something to drink before goin in..so basically i'm alittle high alreadi by the time we enter..
and yes..that was actually a gd thing..at least i get to be in my own world for a short while (which is till the party's over..;p)..
event ended with Effen to wrap the party up..and he sure did rock the place..everyone hope he could have started spinning earlier as the dj before him kinda sucks (and i'm being kind to say "kinda" as everyone else think otherwise) and not to be rude or anything..i really cannot remember his/her name..all i can remember it's a she/he..
glad to have went there to let lose abit..so laugh all they want, make fun of the way i dance all they want..if they think my dance sucks than go somewhere else when i'm dooin so..i didn't ask them to watch anyway..
so now party's over..gotta prepare myself for a slam-packed weekend at work..hope i won't b stonning when the place is packed..;p

need prozac..!!!!!!!!

dunno y but have been depress more often than usual..even nya-nya, than hyper active cat side of mine, is gettin depress for no reason..
oh ya..fyi..someone told me i have a very nice smile... ...-.-
seriously...though he's not the 1st to tell me that but i still dun see anything nice about my smile..
what is so nice about it when many people just wanna wipe it out forever..and what is so nic about it when that very 1st thing being said about it was 'fake and disgusting' (by one of my sec sch teacher)..and what is so nice about it when most of the time it's being use to hide either my anger or my pain..
ok..better stop it there..if not i can go on and on never ending-ly one..
and one more thing..juz now while on my way back home, somewhere near under my block..there's this guy who looked kinda like a drug addict stoped me and asked for my no. ....%#^%#%#^%$^%$^..i'm single yes...but not desprate to that extend lah..
ok..time for gd news..;p
I GOT MY SAREE.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so wad's missing now is the patticoat and the short blouse which ends juz below the bustline than i can wear it alreadi...^^
but dun really noe where to get them..was thinking maybe can go little india..think there sure have one..but i dun wanna go that place alone..(some may think it's funny that i can go clubbing and drinking by myself, but cannot go little india alone)..haha..juz dun like to go that knda place alone lah..hmmm..think that's about it for now..
hope to get my hands on some prozac or maybe even better yet..something stronger..
than maybe there will be a little lesser complaining and whining frm me..;p

sunday @ H's house for hari raya..^^

was invited to eat @ H's house for Hari Raya..and it was a blast there..
1st of all..his mom really cooks super gd food..^^
his family member were really warm and welcoming..got to see his 4mth old son..SOOOooooooo KAWAII..so chubby..XD
his bro oso came back to s'pore for hari raya..so got the chance to meet him too..nice guy..
best part is that i found out that H's quirkiness actually really runs in the family..
had a really great time there..it was kinda new exp for me to actually be goin to me manager's house wif my supervisors and to be there eating together..but it was really fun..^^

i fucked up again...and i'm the only one.....

fri nite (18/09) was pre F1/FHM 100 most sexiest woman event..it was CHAOS due to free flow and we ran outta this & tat..but best part to it was that i was the ONLY 1 to fuck up the whole event..juz bcuz i was told to take care of a VIP table..and that he likes to order drinks in large # (like x10 evertime) and he's quite demanding..someone actually told me off saying "get lost and go back to your own area..wad can you do here..!? you got no com set and you got no power..!! wad can you do here..!?"..like wad the hell rite..
but he's rite oso..i've got no exp in nite life, i'm the youngest there..and i'm juz a god danm fucking sever who noone listens to anyway..it seem like my job there has become to do wad eva shts tat noone wants to do (provided it's somethng i can handle, even barely is gd enough for them to throw the sht to me..)
feel like juz wanna go MIA after the event since someone ther wants me to fuck off that much and thinks that he can handle the whole operation w/o me in the picture..
but for the sake of H, who actually took the risk and hire this idiot who sorta fucked up the interview..i stayed throughout the whole ops till closing time..thinking 'i've no rite to b angry, i'm not even qualified enough to b angry"..
i manage to smile but it seems that i can't hide my aura well enough..
anyways..tat was pre F1..juz imagine how much more chaotic actual F1 will b like..
神様、私の魂保護するどうぞ

saw this video which seriously pissed me off..!!!

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1020744176333&ref=nf

that's the link to the video..cuz i'm a IT idiot so i dunno how to post it onto my blog..
anyways..eventhough not many people read my blog but pls..anyone reading this and feels the same way..go support onevoice org..you got click on the "english" button thingy before you start thinking 'wtf..how to read' k..
there're lots of org out there trying to protect animals frm those bastard..but those org aren't run by the Alpha & Omega God..hence, they can't stop everyone everywhere..but nevertheless..
let us do wadeva small parts we can to help make this world a better place for the animals and for ourselves..if one can't even show kindness to animals, let alone towards people..for kindness is not in thieir nature in the very 1st place..
and to tell you frankly..i really cried when watching the video..it's amost like hearing the cry for help frm the dogs yet you know that you can't save them..after tat i've becomed alittle unstable..
that's juz me..(that y my mom is very objective of me getting a samurai katana..cuz she knows that 1 fine day i juz might b unstable enough to actually use it)..i will most definately get over this soon..juz don't let me see any animal cruelty while i'm sitll like this..even i won't know what on earth i might do to them..

神様、私の魂保護するどうぞ

hmmm..should i or shouldn't i..????

juz wondering if i should have a chat wif Mr H. regarding my mood swings/alter ego/split/multi personalities..and something something else oso..think he's ok with my new found addiction (think he should know by now cuz it's like goin round my workplace like crazy)..which has became a joke to most, got 1 person worried that i might get involved in some kinda cult activity or something..but it's alrite i guess..these reaction are expected frm prople who do not understand what i'm into..if it's a cult than i will most definately not be involved..cuz most likely i'll be the one starting it..and it would have been started long ago when i was into accult and black magic stuff..
and hope i've finally found a place where i can feel comfortable being who i am, which ever me that may be..and not being outcast by the people there..(if i still can get outcast-ed there than think i'm better off being a loner, starting my own cult, or juz disappear frm the surface of the world and join my Anata in the world of nothing-ness)..
and i'm hopng to mayb find a master or something in this group i've joined recently..sick and tired of having to be so grown-up..sick and tired of always having to think for others before anything else (and still there are people who says i'm being inconsiderate)..sick and tired of having to have these huge walls ard me..

F1 's COMING..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

finally..F1 is drawing near..less than 10days to countdown to..
normally i wounldn't care if it's F1 or not for it reallyhas nothng to do wif me..
but this year I'M WORKING..!!!!!!!
surely lotsa ppl gonna club during tat period of time..(hope ALL the celabs gonna go clubbing @ my workplace..;p)..
hahahahhahahahaha..but noe tat's not possible..hope to see some still even though dn thin got time to ask for autograph..XD
haven't update blog for quite few days due to connection problem..internet can't seem work properly for past few days..><
wanna go somewhere where i can check my weight..!!!!!!!!
cuz tat day went to Alice's shop, alice 88th @ bali lane, and she told me i've slim down alot..XD
tat nite when i went home, i bump into my mum's fren and she said the same thing..XDDD
for alice, it's been ard 7-8mth since we last had a gd chat..saw her @ cosfest @ D' marque for a short moment..did'n had the chance to catch up cuz she was kinda busy than..
my mom's fren i saw her about 1mth back, tat time juz started work not very long..
sooooooooo......i wonder have i droped to 59 yet..?????
if i'm really 59kg now, (or less..;p), i should go get a peircing as an reward man..!!!!!!!

i'm sick.. ...-.-"'"""""

*sigh*....why lah, why..?????
why every time hungry ghost mth i will fall sick..???????
is it bcuz of the weather..???? what i ate..?????
hmmmmm.....................
aiya..dun think soo much lah..since now i'm already sick..no ppoint thinking that much oso..
it's gd tat my fever went dowwn but my throat hurts like i've juz drank some SUPER strong chemical which will burn the throat.......-.-
now even when i talk oso pain..let alone eat or drink..but something intresting happened last nite at work..or rather..found out something intresting bout Myself during work..
normally people feels worst when they have to work when they're not feeling well..
but it's like my throat almost went numb while i was working..!!! it didn't hurt that much..!!!!
for a moment there..i actually thought i'm getting better..but the pian returned when we closed and was in the locker room..and it was worst then wad is was before work..oowwww~
i hav the habit of howling like a dog or cry like a cat when i'm SERIOUSLY not feeling well (ya i know it's not normal, but it kinda made me feel abit better doing so..) but with my throat hurtng like this..i can't really do that now..and that sucks big time..think later i'm gonna bring some honey water to work..ps..it feels like the fever is coming back...!!!!!!
NO......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~神様、私の魂保護するどうぞ~

emo again..and all bcuz of m.a...

can't sleep again for past few days..and it's not bcuz i had too much fun on fb till i forgot to sleep..
actually fb not much fun..juz tat it gd to have something to do when u're damn bored..
(i'll b playing games on fb, playing normal pc game, like solitaire, knitting, & sometimes watch anime almost all at the same time..-.-)..
juz trying to do wadeva it takes to keep my mind occupied..burt it seems my brain has been soo used to multi-tasking that no matter wad i'm doin or how many things i'm doin my brain still have the compacity to miss tat m.a somehow..(sometimes i really wish tat i can focus solely on 1 single thing only and not multi task..)..
even at work i would oso spaced out suddenly when there's not much things for me to do..
really wish to get over this issue ASAP..!!!!
cuz even though not many ppl give a damn wadeva happen to me..but there are still those few close ones who cares for me..so for their sake i must get over him soon..cuz it juz dangerous for me to emo..
i tend to hurt others without meaning it..and i'll srely hurt myself when i emo for too long..
for i'm abit sadistic, juz a little..that's why i am so loud and irritating and annoying most of the time..so as to prevent my dark self from ssurfacing..but it seems like she's gaining strengh from god knows where..for recently i've been hurting myself a little more often then usual..
juz hope it's nothing worth worring about..that it'll go off after few more days..
~神様、私の魂保護するどうぞ~