At times, I really think I should be more greedy, expect more from others, expect much more from the world. Maybe, just maybe, then I will no longer be alone.

But than what it would means is that I would have to make an effort to EXPECT something from people, which will be too troublesome actually.

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3 more years to go... Hopefully death will finally take my hand then...
If he would bring forward the promised date, the sooner the better it would be..