fucking meaningless

was chatting wif jac yesterday and dunno how the hell it ended up talking about my past..and somehow i've not forgotten even a single one of those i tried to wash away...
yea rite...i was juz pretending to have gotten over things.....truth to be told...i haven't gotten over any shit....NOTHING AT ALL!!!!
till now there are many who do not understand wad i meant when i say "i'm not meant for happiness, happiness is not mine to hold"
for any guy i like, dun deserve someone wif a past like mine...
and as a person tainted wif such past... .....i do not deserve anyone...for i have no right to rob them of what they could have better..

mayb i should reconsider..... .... ..... ..
mayb it was all a mistake....... ........
mayb it's true.......i do not belong here......
mayb it's time..... i go over..........

yea~~

oh yea~
can log in to blogger liao~~
like FINALLY!!!!!
hiaz....
juz now went lao san's house for a mini gethering...
suddenly abit emo....
seeing so many frens being so close, so gd to her...
but than again....i'm not meant for a crowd..i'm not meant for the living....
for they are the ones who rejected my exsistence for no reason in the very 1st place..thus...i shall not draw them near to me...i'll be who i am, and push them far away..and those who are able to stay by my side, they shall be rewarded wif my loyalty..

12-12-2010....TIRED!!!!!!!!

woke up 0830 early in the morning, to have breakfast wif mom and oso get a plain white top for my eoy...
managed to find a guy's top which fits wad i'm looking for...too bad they do not have size XS...so....bought S instead (and it's only $9)..;p

sortof reached RP at ard 1230..found Ami and Deamonspade (aka kaito~)..xp
Ami got into the solo cosplay competition, so she has to go on stage, and Blake haven't arrived when she was being called in...so end up, she didnt see Blake at all lor...

but Blake did went to RP..juz tat he didn't wanna go in..
and worst part is tat i actually have to go back home already when he juz reached..
than he wanna go back oso..
felt bad making him camoe all the way to woodlands than no time to spend wif him..
so ask him to join my and my mom for our outting~

LOL..was fun goin house warming wif him...(and my mom's fren kinda made things a little bit awkward for us by goin on and on about he's my bf, we have couple face etc etc..)
lucky the neighbour had a pet kitten who juz loves to slip out the house...if not...think i'll really need a hole to hide my head in..

suppose to go ikea, than my grandfather house, together..but he got tired, and went back to rest after the house warming liao..
so went ikea wif mom, and bought 3 thingys we wanna bring to grandad house de...but my mom's boss called while we're at ikea and ask us to join his group for dinner (jia toh aka 'eat table')..

... ....felt like still got sooo many stuff wanna write....but...brain abit not functioning properly....-.-"

ok bah
think this post is getting kinda naggy liao..;p
ja ne~~

boredom kills.....

dunno why...
but feels like the past is kinda pulling me back...
the cold dark pit, of nothingness...
where people dun bother to look..
wher it's just me, and the spirits of the abyss.....

need to find new things to keep me here, and to keep them away frm me..
but tat can be kinda hard when almost everything is starting to seem meaningless..
starting to ponder on the meaning of life once again....
and tat's kinda the start of all things bad for ppl ard me....
juz hope i dun become quite all of a sudden...
for it scares me, more than it scares other people....
for more often than anything else...even i dunno wad i'm think at those times...

a new bond to keep me here....
wondering wad it could be.....

aiyoyo~~

ok..
i might be blogging alot more often now..(since i'm SUPER free at work MOST time)
but it's not gonna be much fun reading as it's mostly gonna be me blabbing nonsense..;p

ok..
now i've got a new task~!!
to miss-call my manager everyday, once i reached the shop..cuz it appears tat my boss has been complaining tat i'm always late..and tat sometimes, she'll tell her i'm more than 15min late, while i'm onlt at most 5-7min late lor..-.-

and also....for some reason....over $1k(cash)is missing from nov's sales $$....
and i really dun give a damn...a long as they dun start pointing finger at me...i mean, come on lah~
if everything tally during closing while i'm on duty, i dun see why they think i'm able to tell them how the $1k got missing..and juz to add on...wif manager getting kinda forgetful (due to the stress she's under these 2mth) and a boss who is kinda a bimbo (note tat i'm being kind here by saying 'kinda'), it might be possible tat they paid some supplier using tat amount of $$ and forgot about it.....
T.T
aiyo~~
dunno, dunn care, dunnn bother lah~~

wee~~

ard another half hour more!!!!
than can go back~~
and today's sales consider quite gd~~
so dun really have to worry..^^

eventhough juz now got 1 freaking annoying lady..
wan free wrapping, than told her need to buy wrapping paper frm us..
and she cheappo, buy 2 piece only, when actually 3 piece can wrap for her nicer..
than still wanna complain say y wrap this way? like not very nice noe..tsk tsk...
WTF!!!

*breath in, breath out*

nvm..juz becuz of her attitude, i PURPOSELY dun wrap too nice for her...
kns.....

ok~
reallly another 30min more to go~~
JY JY!!!!
WAIT FOR ME~~ MY BED~~~~

oh no..

AHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
shit shit shit shit shit~!!!!!
=[
HOW!!!!!!??
ayo....-.-

... ........... .................
-.-'''

juz cheacked my nuffnang......and he read my blog yesterday!!!!!!!
*bang wall and die*
die liao lah die liao lah..
this time really can die liao lah!!!!!!

aiyoyoyoyoyoy~~

really die better liao....
wad if there start to have a awkward air ard us when we go out how???
omg!!!
nvm..
better stop saying anymore...
now i kinda dun even know wad the hell i'm saying oso...
*bang table and die*

LOL..XDDDD

last nite after work went stereo look for Egon & Chunli to chit chat for awhile...
hahahahaha...
but i didnt go inside to look for them lah~~
asked the guard outside to call Egon for me...
than i hide one corner while waiting for him to come out....
and when he cam out.. ....heeheehee.. *!!BOO!!*
his reaction was PRICELESS!!!!!!!1
wahahhahahahhaaaahahaahahahaa..xDDDDDDDD

lucky~~~ ^^

WAH!!!
got a hell og a shock when i was told tat blake read my blog!!!!! o.O
it's like "oh no! oh shit!! did he read anyhting which he wasn't suppose to read!??

so i juz went through my blog and thinks tat i'm quite safe~(as i dun think he'll read posts frm tat far back) ^^
*~an xin~*

ad i can post this now cuz dun think he'll be reading my blog again any time soon~~ ;p
(found out he came and read it cuz my lao san, dear ShiHui, ask him to read it...)
if not dun think he'll ever visit my blog one lor..

but than again...
if he didn't read anything he WASN'T suppose to.. ....than wad's wif tha over-hyper slightly-abnormal behaviour yesterday???

??1??????? ?? o.O

haiya~~
dun noe.. dun wanna noe... better dun noe....
scared later the friendship change...i dun wan..

things remain as it is now can liao.....
dun wanna end up becoming anything less than wad we are now...
i dun wanna end up becoming a stranger instead... ... .....

sianzzzzzzz

bday reaching REAL SOON..(like it's tml lor)
dun even wanna think about wad's gonna happen..
cuz lao san wanna surprise me, so i shall let her do juz tat...
i'll try my very best to be surprised...

than heard tat morning my company wanna have "breakfast gathering/meeting" together on tat morning itelf too... ....-.-
(if it's for my bday, i rather they not do tat and let me sleep in my bed longer lor..)

and all those ppl which i tot i wanna spen my bday wif.. ... ...*sigh*
dun even wanna mention....most likely most of those ppl wont even wish me happy birthday....-.-
(if Huzaini were to sms or wish me happy bday on fb, tat'll really make my day.. and if meiya were to wish me happy bday, tat i'll really be shock till my jaw drop! )

other than these...... .......i'll still try to be surprised by my dear lao san..
so am praying tat the shop will be darn busy till i have no time to think of anything else, juz like how my bday was last year @ stereo....being kinda like the only person there whereby they didnt celebrate bday for, as the matter of fact, it was soooooo busy tat everyone was too worn out to even remember it was my bday lor...
and i was oso too tired to bother, juz wanna go home only.....

but my pay will MOST likely not be in yet~
soooo....no $ to even pamper myself wif sashimi tat nite lor...=[

WTF!!

it's like wad the F lor...told him soooo many time tat i'm juz a fren, nothing more.....and everything he does has a motive behind....even when i didn't ask for his help, he'll vollenteer to help..and after which, he'll be sending these kinda mgs to my phone & facebook......... ..............
wad's wrong wif guys these days sia!!!!
if he keeps this up, not only tat i still wont agree to date him, i'll blacklist him TOTALLY.....!!!!!!
it's either he take it like a man, and remain as s fren... ....or i'm gonna ignore him totally.......

boys... ....will always be boys.....

it seems tat to BOYS, it's either be his gf, or no fren....
like wtf!!
he's doin things to help me juz becuz he likes me, and everything he do, he expect me to become his gf in return...-.-"""""

i would be SOOOO much happier if it was someone else who gave me all those h.NAOTO's hello kitty & yoshikitty (yoshiki of X Japan ver of hello kitty) thingy....

he's not a bad person...juz need to grow up, and be less attention-seeking...
and STOP EXPECTING ME TO BE HIS GF!!!!!

hope he stop pissing me off by telling me those things which makes me feel like slapping him...if not, dun even expect me to be his fren.....

cant wait!!!

2 more days and i dun have to go king albert park anymore liao...
and my feet is Soooo ready to go on a strike soon..
cant wait for the ham promoting job to end...
and... ..... .......CANT WAIT FOR MY FULL SET COSPLAY OUTFIT x2!!!!!!!
heee heeee heheheheheeeeeee...xD

sigh..damn tired...ZzzzzZzzzzZzzzzz.....

boring~ boring~ ... ?? BUSY!!!!!!

actually damn bored....
but than again....i dun have much time to slack and 'nua' at home already...
today is the 3rd already...
tml till the 7th, i'll be promoting HAM in super market..
on the 8th must be on standby at home cuz got ppl coming....
9th-10th got training...
13th and 14th is AFA (which i'm having only half of wad i'm gonna wear on both day....if bth other half didn't make it in time... ... ....cannot enjoy my cosplay debut...-.-)
wait... ....!?
TRAINING IS ON 8TH AND 9TH!!?
die....... .........
see can change to 9ht and 10th or not...

YEAH!!!!!
reply liao....can change~
\m/

NOTICE!!!!

ok...for those who have been visiting my blog and thinking "y sooooo long never update??"

cuz recently i've been busy busy (living, job hunting, house cleaning, trying not to fall sick, etc etc)
and cuz i've been jobless for...hmmm...more than 3mth now...soooooo..
my broadband.. ... ....dun need me to say more lah.....=[

so...most likely ard dec everything should be more or less be back on track le..

oh ya~
side note~~
nov 13th & 14th i'm gonna be doin my Cosplay debut in AFA (held @ suntec)
praying hard it wont turn out to be cosfuck instead...

updates updates!!!!!

sooooo many things i wanna update...
but sadly my brain cant recall tat many stuff now..:(

lets start wif 22nd sept....spent da whole evening-nite preparing for germ germ's Bday surprise...and lucky for lao san and me, lao er was really surprised by us~~!!!
xD

and her DIY cake was really nice, despite the fact tat it smelled awfully sweet...;p

and.... ... ..
I GOT HIRED!!!!!!!!!!
gonna start work @ PARDIS, 67 boat quay, on mon onwards...6day/wk
pay haven't settle yet....working hours oso haven't settle...all i noe is tat i start @ 4pm...and da boss will let me knock off earlier on wkdays so tat i can take train back...^^

heeeheee...and.......*lots*of*eye*candy* ^.^
but better dun stare at them toooooooo much....if not after some time bored liao than like very boring...xD
LOL...XD
nah~
juz joking~~
=p

tat A**hole claim to have called and left me more than 6 messages like about 3wks ago....
and when i said i recieved nothing, and question him about facebook stuff...like if he cant get me on my phone, y not on facebook..??
tat's when he start commin up wif BS such as he lost his facebook password few DAYS ago..
so i asked y cant he contact me through facebook WEEKS ago, b4 he lost password...than he keep saying he didn't add me as his fren so cant contact me...
even when i'm not in his fren's list, still can send msg...than he started telling me the last msg he got on fb was from a pri sch fren....

told him my lao san, ShiHui, got tag him in lots of post, and he removed those tags....
he say he didn't!
than i told him it's oso tat time my lao san and me sent msg to him on fb...
he say he didn't recieve!!!!

than i'm so gd to da extent tat i came up wif the excuese for him..
"someone else, other than yourself, have access to your fb ac rite?"
and he really took da bait saying tat 2 of his frens have his fb password....
=.=
how shameless...
tat so called fren of his if fake..
his so called post in both the AIR FORCE & the NAVY is fake...
ya rite..as if 1 can be a AirForce Captain & a NAVY Luitanent at the same time....
loads of crap.......

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=607576732&ref=ts

this is the link to tat shameless bastared i'm talking about here...

KENNY CHNG CHIN FONG

everyone should go see wad this fucker look like!!!

and if u see him better be carefull.......he have a bad habit of always lying....and cheating ppl's $$...

damn!

ok...da IO in charge of my case called back and told me tat the case will not reopen...and tat no action would be taken taken against tat A**hole.....
but they will however, TRY to contact him, and leave a msg for me....

Ya Rite! Like Tat Would Be Of Any Help!!

but at least there's 1 gd news....(even though it did woke me up, but still gd nevertheless..)
someone called me asking if i'm looking for a job, as he heard frm a fren (Mark Saito~) tat i am...
and since i'm still pretty much still sleeping, i told him to sms me the 'location and stuff"......(to think tat i talk like this to someone who's offering me a job~!!)
so settled on tat already~
went online check da location, and da restaurant's basic info out...
and it's very assurring to know tat they actually have a "goth bartender" there~~

hmmm..gtg now...
IO called back and gave me his new number....ask me to call tat A**hole back and try to sort things out among ourselves....
=.=

i failed~

juz noticed something REALLY really bad about........
crochet few bears for lao er, germ germ's Bday......
but now after sometime....i'm starting to find flaws in those teddies...
and think they're not gd enough to be given away...
and this is ALWAYS the case... ... ..
=.=

if i were to make stuff like these for sale, for real, than guess buyer have to collect within 1wk upon completion.......
now i'm lookin at makin another 1 for her....hope got enough $ and time to go buy yarn and rush it in time for her surprise...which is few days later, on the 22nd.....
=[

betrayal by blood....fml

hmmm....
attend
... ... ...fine~
than he shall not see me there at least......
and also.....he never thought tat i could be anything...tat i'm juz another good-for-nothing......
wad a gd example he's setting.......

so...i dun wish to waste anymore useless time.....wanna go pick up a skill which can make me into something BIG!!!

and i'm only looking into 2 area...hairdressing, and singing.....nothing else...
interest
and i shall pray tat he live long enough to see tat day come.....and ripe wad he sow he shall...

GD MORNING!!!!!!!!!
it's freaking weird to see me posting sooooo early in da morning....
and w/o nonsense which are totally no links de~~
(think da 1st 3 sentance already no link liao..=p)

anyways~
juz hot back frm a swim, and even finished my usual yoghurt....but some how it taste sweeter than it's suppose to..o.O
hmmm....

and here's a joke of he day....i went to da pool, paid, enter.......and than... ........
NO SWIM SUITE!!!!!!!!
i like damn cute lor....even paid da entry, and enter already.....than realised i didn't put it inside my bag...=.=
so, i came all da way back, went again, and paid da entry Again!!! *-*

guess wad....i haven't slept at all.....xD
hahaha....and to keep myself awake since it's already 6am.....i went searching da net for stuff which i'm interested to learn...even though knowing tat i could remember less than 50% of wad i saw....;p

think later gonna visit those sites again.....lucky can trace back via da history thing~

wtf!

being called selfish and self-centered when u're actually thinking for others!!!!
tat's real fucked up.....
if i am indeed only thinking about myself, i wouldn't even let them touch the bee hoon which i actually wanna eat....let alone give them the chance to finish it off w/o even me having a single bite.....

all of them there had their breakfast already....except for me.....
even after i told them tat i'm having tat bee hoon as my breakfast (but cuz it's a food offering for my grandma, it's suppose to bring luck, and every1 should at least take a bite), and ask them to have some 1st b4 i finish the bee hoon.....
end up.....THEY were the ones who finished da food.....while the 1 who haven't had any food was left wif nothing..........and yet still can say i'm selfish and self-centered..........

fine~
since they dun let me eat.....than i won't eat lor...for the whole fucking day i dun eat lor.....
best is tat i die of hunger rite???
too bad tat's not gonna happen.........
similar thingy happened in da past b4.......and i starve myself for almost 3full days.....and i haven't die yet......
seriously...........i dun get wad the hell those "ADULTS" are thinking........
like SERIOUSLY!!!!!

wah!!!!
think dying soon.........
my body is ACHING all over!!!!!!!
sigh~
(i feel so soo sooooooo old..=.=)

wahahahaha....
i'm quite evil actually......
actually wanna make crochet stuff for sale for some extra $$ for the time being...
but end up tat Darwin seems to be my only buyer rite now....
1st was the $100 teddy bear.....and now a $400 scarf!!!!!!
it's like ya la....he wanna give me $$....but knowing my character, he knows tat i WILL NOT take $$ for no reason.......thus, via buying my crochet/knitted stuff...and willing to be paying not only a high price for the product, but for the materails needed as well.........

sigh~
and i juz got nagged at by my mom for doin so..........=p
anyways.....should start preparing a product portfolio soon if i wanna start da online selling thingy fast............
but than again......those pic of those works i've made so far.......not really a proper 1 so cannot be used!!!!!! :(
anyways....gotta turn in now....
meeting lao san later 0930..........goin police post to file a report............and after which, goin PlazaSing meet up wif Darwin for movie and buy yarns for his $400 scarf........

09/09/2010 thur

went Kbox wif cas, darwin, and his onee-sama...
cas has something on so she had to go halfway during Kbox session...
but at least still had some gd time b4 she left...^^
and as usual....i sang my OneNightInBeijing~~~
and some other hard-to-sing songs.....and ofcuz, i over-killed those songs..=p
sang CherryBoom's DearPrince, shakira songs, f.i.r songs, X japan's Kuranai, and Shin yue tuan's songs......
LOL...(and i almost fell frm the sofa..=p)

after we sang our hearts (and lungs) out, went marche for dinner.......
i could easily say tat i ate the least food there....
darwin and ESPESIALLY his onee-sama, can eat a awful lots of food!!!!!!!!!
but i wont envy them...for me as long as i have enough, it's fine, don't need tooooooooo much...xD

and after which, we juz hang ard orchard, chat wif onee-sama...and found out we have LOTS in common...and guess wad....she's oso a dec born snake!!!!

and lao san messaged me on fb.....saying sorry and stuff...
and juz like 1day never really reply her, she tot i'm super mad at her and sounded like she's gonna emo soon.....

hmmmm....wonder if she knows how i felt all those while when she was chatting wif frens on fb but didn't remember to say "HI".....
anyways.....i should stop being so selfish....she is not mine alone.....got lots of other frens who are dear to her as well....unlike me who have a extremely small social circle.....
soooo...ya.....if you're reading this....
i'm not mad at you now.....juz pissed at myself....so dun emo and focus on exams k??

think tat's all for now....damn hungry....
mayb after dinner might post something else......
heehee......juz hope tat darwin dun read my blogs..........
cuz da next post is gonna be related to him!!!!!

WEEE~~~~
finished more than 3/4 of a honeydew by myself~~~
day1, monday, bought 1 honeydew frm seng song
ate 1/4 tat afternoon, another 1/4 tat nite

day 2, tue, shared 1/4 of it wif my mom tat nite

day 3, wed, today~
juz ate da remaining 1/4 while watching my anime Blood+ ~~~
^_^

and as expected.....lao san have not visited my blog yet....
like tat dunno lao er's Bday thing still on or not lor.....

like wad da F...............suddenly fells so betrayed......:(

mayb it's me who've become weak...for hanging ard ppl too much recently...for letting down my guard too much.....

mayb it's me who've failed myself.....and thus there's no one to blame for a fault which is mine...

sigh~
list of ppl who have been super cold and ignoring me lately
and most likey only 1 of them will see this post, but than again, she wont ever visit this blog again i guess....

blake, shihui, and suppose to have 2 more names here...
but 1 smsed me early this morning, and the other replied my fb message, and we chatted over there for awhile.....

to tat some1 who told me she wans to concentrate on studying for her exams, tat's y i didn't wanna bother her, was chatting away happily online while she was suppose to be studying...........
so....if u happen to by chance read this post and wondering wad i'm angry about.....
guess it says all......

the 1 and only reason y i do not like to be close wif ppl is tat i hate being betrayed... ESPECIALLY by my close ones...........tat's y i preferred to hang ard animals instead of humans......
tat's y i rarely open my heart...........
and to think that someone whom u have not kept secrets frm is lying to u...........
if we're living in ancient times, i would've killed those ppl wif my own hands, than to have them betray my trust once and again, and over again...........

tat's y it's easier to have enemies, for they ARE there to hurt u....
but for frens to do tat.............i cant understand y......
mayb part of the reason is tat i was never being regarded as a "person", but a "thing".....
thus i never really understood wad humans think in tat "superior" brain of theirs.....

havent slept since yesterday woke up ard 2 pm...
think i con go take a nap waile waiting for meat to defrost...
(but da funny thing here is tat i dun feel like eatine meat at all today...-.-)

but still gotta cook anyways..........

juz finish watching Uraboku ep22.....
ARGH!!!!!!
yuki has been taken by reiga!!!!!!!!!!
dunno when next ep comin out...><
hope it's soon~~~~~

12012 - Wana

have been having super random weird dreams lately....
and it's not exactly gd either.......

have been dreaming about da game shop i used to work @.....
and it's about who was the one who back-stabbed me, brainwashed the boss, and got the bosses to set me up and frame me for stealing frm the shop......
never would i have thought it was her.....who was closest to me....
so it was damn weird for me to have those dreams.....
and for her sudden change of attitude towards me.........i really have nothing to say.....

before she ask to hang out wif me almost every single day b4 her exams, i already asked her she will get bored not, always hanging ard wif me?
she said she'll never get bored of me......
guess i should've known better......

juz toped up my prepaid card~~
so now usin back my previous #..^^
but juz few min after i topped it up, my dad called and scolded me for no reason *AGAIN*..
sigh~
FML....=.=
but regardless.....
most likely not gonna get any calls frm him ever again....
...
oso gd......

damn hungry rite now.............-.-
thinking of goin 7/11 for a bite.....

hmmmmm....
shall see how.....

broke!!!!!

jobless for more then 2mth already!?!
time sure flyy when one's not careful...=.=

bills are pilling up like a moutain....$$ is not coming in....

ON THE VERGE OF A DEBT CRISIS...!!!!!!!!

it's like i'm not picky regarding wad job i chose now.....but it seem tat, for some reasons, ppl aare afraid to hire me.....(do i look like i eat humans.??? -.-"")

trust~ is it worth anything nowadays??

dunno if it's right to trust ppl nowadays....to believe in wad they say....not to doubt them cuz they are your so-called sister......

... ... .....

sad..:(

yesteraday went visit a fren of mine @ her shop......
she seems to be very busy when we entrered (me & Seven).....

so we simply entertain ourselves while she's talking to her customers......seven were looking through da jackets most of the time, while i was looking as those wah-lolis...
than tat when she's finally free to talk to us, we ofcuz chatted for qutie long....

but something wasn't quite right........she wasn't happy at all tat we drop by to visit her..!!!(??)
and she said something which sounded super 'sour', (even though she did not memtion who she was refering to) i'm sure she was refering to me......

"some ppl everytime say no $ no $....but everytime come here wear chothes frm other ppl's shop"

i ask 'who??'

"dun have to mention names one lah...." wif tat kinda face...(i dun think i have to say wad kinda look she gave me here)

since Seven still wanna go somewhere else, we left her shop ard 7+ or 8+pm.....
it was after we left da shop then i told Seven tt think she was talking about me when she said tt.....

mayb she's not herself cuz she lost and miss her cat badly.....
mayb someone has been talking bad about me to her lately.....

if it's da 1st one, still can understand.....and when she's feeling better, thing will be back to normal.....
if it's da 2nd one........than i dun think i will ever step into her shop again...........

'i keep saying no $$ but always buy frm other shop'!?
i bought my very 1st dress (which i've bought wif my own $$, not some1 else buy for me) @ her shop....tt dress is $180
than after tt, i dunno bought how many skirts, tops, assessories, wig, and even bought my Kuro dere oso...
if really wanna rank those shop i buy da most stuff frm or spend da most $$ in rite (not counting supermarkets ofcuz)....

#1 is her shop for gdness sake.....even though i might not have spend as much as compared to her other regulars......(who have a gd source of $ one way or another)........but i've spend close to 3k, or more, in her shop itself......and most of my fav to wear ARE frm her shop as well....eg. da black punk skirt i luv to wear soo very often, da platform boots etc.....

#2 (which i spend da most) OSIM.....tat 1 think idiot oso noe y came in 2nd lah hor...
#2 (which i shop most often for clothes) COTTON ON......but this is for basics and casuals....how can group together wif her shop..!?

#3 (spend da most) METRO can?? cuz i buy shoes, sometimes makeup products & lady stuff..and perfumes there...
#3 (where i shop for things to wear)... ...... ........like dun even have lor......cuz other then her shop and cotton on, everything else are bought randomly at random places.......even if i include da whole of bugis village oso cannot count.....(cuz even though i go there super often.....but 95% of da time i buy food & drinks only.....=.=

sigh~

forget it.....which ever da case is.........i wont go there juz to visit her liao......sometimes i no $$ still go dere accompany her she think i nothing to do?? slack @ home always better esp when 1 have no $$....wanna eat atleast got stuff to eat, no need to spend on food.....tired can sleep in own bed.....

but since she dun like it than fine......next time unless i really got stuff i wanna buy frm there, and got $$......than i go.........if tat's wad she wans, tat's wad i'll do.......consider this my last favour for her as a fren.........next time, she's juz a shop owner, i'm juz a customer.......

super sad.....but wad to do......

i should be able to get over it wif time........for i must remember i'm no longer human, not totally.....since i never was being treated tat way....and i never was.....

damn pissed off....
some baka gave my nunber away w/o even asking for my promission.....wtf~

and juz nw when i was havin dinner wif my mom, i went washroom (which was normal), but met a PIG wif no brains at all....
it's like hello! u are twice my size, not even as tall as me (and i'm considered short already fyi).....
and u wanna stand in da middle of da door thingy, by all means...but when u see ppl wanna go through tat area, pls move ypur fucking ass aside.....u bloody hell saw me walking your way, and u can position yourself more to da center to block my way even more....i reach there, stood infront of u for few sec, cannot say u never see me there...cuz u bloody hell stare at me 1st, than give me a fuck face.....=.=
so i SQUEEZE my way past u, bumped into u abit..(note i was kind enough not to push her till she fly outta my way)....and u can say "dunno how to say excuse me ah!?"
look bitch, u saw me comin, didn't move your ass, some more give me fuck face...Y DA BLOODY HELL SHOULD I SAY EXCUSE ME!!!!!!!!
i noe as a gal, i prettier than u, figure better than u, sense of style better than u...and even though me, as a gal, can make ppl feel like i've the aura of a prince.......but dun have to block my way u noe.......go lose mayb a tonne or two, watch Extreme Makeover, read up thingys about style....u can improve into a better person.....not feel bitter about life and do such brainless stuff....
if u really wanna feel bitter than juz die lah.....like tat how to win me.....
though juz now i dressed quite 'manly'...but still got lots of gd respones frm da guys dere......

CONFIDENCE!!!!!

tat's da most importent thing to have.....
so wad if i'm overweight and fat....i've got waist, and i've a style which suits me well...
so wad if i do not have flawless skin, and face of an angel......i've got an attitude which suits me well....
so wad if ppl thinks i'm fucking mixed up, dun even noe i wanna be guy, gal, les, tomboy, or butch..i'll say i'm both a guy and a gal at da same time....and i aint giving shit to wad ppl thinks...

juz learnt something new about my tattooist.......
sigh~
lucky i hack care long ago liao....
hmmm.....
anyways....Darwin ask me out later, for movie and food....
should i go???
o.O
it's like i've gotta clean up the house as well......unless i go swim early in the morning....than come back straight away start cleaning.......
cuz he say his onee-sama comin oso....than i wanna see who tat gal is...xD
hehehee..=p
than if go out wif him, can get him to buy stuff i can use to make my bear bear....XD
^_____^

haiya..anything lah.......see later i wake up how...

haha...
the buckles on my platform boots finally came off~~
like 4 out of 5 of it came off.....and i have to buy glue from spotlight @ Plaza Singapura to stick it back......but lucky for me......the glue i bought really worked well~~
it's like every1 knows (i think) how hard it is to glue lether together rite??
it's like UHU glue can't stick them together for long, superglue dun work at all....
fabric glue normally juz aren't strong enough.....and than i found da solution.....it's oso a craft glue, which's for fabric, as well as lether.....and it's gd enough to stick da buckles to my boots till i get back home, and it's still there~!!! ^^

actually wanna go bugis as well....but since tat happen, we decided to go bugis another day...(maybe my make-up was inapropriate for tat place bah).....
cuz wanna go da temple @ bugis there, visit my god mother, and maybe ask her some Q...
but nvm....can always go another day, not as if the temple will suddenly grow legs and run somewhere else.....=p

hmmmmmm.....dun think there's anything else le.....
brain not really working now cuz abit tired alreadi..=.=

k than..
ciao ciao~
ja mata~~

i've never been the type who's gd wif socializing wif ppl, ever since a child....
my cousin who grow up wif me knows tat very well....
even family member can't really get me to talk much after i grew abit older....
and never was i the type to trust ppl easily....
and i think things are better off tat way.......for only than, frens i made are true...
they had seen the worst of me, and if they stay, they stay long........
thus, things are goin back to way they once were......

rain rain rain for da whole day.....
didn't go out, SUPPOSE to go out, bring something to my mom..
but....i forgotten about it....and normally she would call to remind me to leave da house on time...
but she forgot to call as well.....so, end up didn't go at all.............
tml meeting my lao san again.....
LOL...she really won't get bored hanging out wif me i guess......and tat's kinda surprising u could say.......for normally ppl cant even stand being wif me for more than an hour.....let alone hanging out wif me da whole day, and at least twice per week......
some other ppl only have 2 things to say....

1, she really loves u alot, till she cant wait to see u everyday,

2, she really got nothing better to do, tat's y she wont mind to hang out wif the likes of u......

hack care.......be it wadeva reasons....i noe them best.....i'm her lao da, she's my lao san.....
the rest can go hammer their heads trying to figure us out...........but i doubt anything will come up even if u emptied your brains out......

juz this week alone went Bugis 3times already!!!!!!
it's like omg...... ...=.=
mayb sg really have nowhere else for us to hang ard already....
dun like to hang ard orchard, cuz too "high class"..
at most will hang out ard Scape or cine when ard orchard area.....

juz now went bugis again wif my lao san, for her shopping spree.....
but b4 tat we went to visit Alice @ her shop, Alice 88th @Bali lane......
she seem really down still, after her cat, hello went missing......
even though she got a new cat, which look exactly like Hello......she still seems down......
haiz...how i wish there's something i can do for her........mayb b4 i get a job, i should go down and accompany her more often bah......

even though ShiHui says may not be meeting me tat soon.....but most likely next week will meet up again bah.....Hahahaha...it seems she never get bored of goin out wif me.....=p

oh ya.....i've a new quote thingy juz now, which i like alot..

"i'm not a princess, so dun call me cute...
but u can bow down to me or be on your kness, for i AM a prince...who u cannot resist~~
Hades is da king, while Titania is the queen....i'm their son....
guess u noe wad tat means..."

tat's all frm me now~~
ciao ciao~~
ja mata ne~~

19082010......how my day went.........

as usual....met up wif my lao san, shihui....her fren zhi chuang..Oops! sorry...it's zhi chong...=p
and my fren darwin.......
actually when i woke up, kinda feel like juz cancel da whole thing, dun meet and slack at home....
since it's pouring like mad, and, i lost my 1 and only umbrella at ILLUMA on tue.... .... ... =.=

but than again....nvm la.....juz wear my 4.5" platform boots would do half the trick.....(since the reason i dun like to go out on rainy days is tat i dun like to get my feet wet..=p)

went have our breakfast/lunch @ nydc, bugis junction......service was promt, and quite fast....
so i would say their service's gd......but i can't say the same for their food........
but i dun wanna start on tat here.......cuz i'm gonna be quite naggy once i start......

so anyways.......after tat we went Scape's Zone X to visit Deehellseven, who is me and lao san's fren, and for jubeat.......actually wanted to go Kbox as well.....but.... ......another day lah......

oh well.......i had fun teasing SH and her fren.....and i got my konami card thingy oso....for jubeat and parapara machines one.....heehee..=p

The Final - Dir en grey [English Subtitles]

ppl dunno english....=.=

hmmm....it seems tat i should've posted da link to my poetry blog instead of this....
cuz got ppl who went to view tat fake ah beng blog come view my blog juz to kpkb somemore on his tag board.....-.-"'
like wtf! those ppl barking there really dun understand a single word in that blog it seems....
already stated "a fake blog for entertainment purpose" = blogger is not a real cao ah beng!!!!!!
those kpkb ones really do not know to appriciate the LOLs of life lah.......
oh ya.....talking about tat.......those ppl wanna say i cao ah lian....but dun dare put post on my tag board.......so i'm really kinda convinced those ppl are also act pai kia only....
sigh~
suan le lah.....think tat tao eh also can foresee this kinda situation happening when he started da blog......but mayb he didn't think ppl would actually kp this much......guess tat's typical sg for you....ppl wanna kp say nothing fun is goin on.....say sg boring.......
someone start something fun, wanna kp say tat person jia bah boh tai ji zoh....than wanna find trouble wif tat person...=.=

those ppl can go entertain themselves in their bedroom lah....dun wanna noe they alone or wad oso......juz leave all the fun blogs alone so tat others may read it and be entertained.....
see my blog like super harmless than go his blog kp like fuck.....
my blog got my fb link lor.....got balls go add me in fb and find me trouble.......even though i never ever join gang or wad ever.....but i AM bored these few days.....mayb they can somehow entertain me wif their barking lor......XD

interesting blog...SPOTTED!!!!! LOL..XD

http://borntobeyourtaoeh.blogspot.com
this is da blog my fren aks me to check out.....
it's a fake gangster blog, meant for LOLs only........but really super funny!!!!

juz now after my temp job ended.....hang out wif frens at void deck nearby for like...think almost 1hour bah...;p
than he say hungry, so went coffee shop nearby.....and than slack there for another 2-3hours!!!
WAhahahahaha.......see~ we so hard working noe....zuo* OT after work ended liao....double OT some more wor!!!!
dbl OT = Own Time Own Target!!! LOL..XD
than chatted for long long time lor....about ghost thingy, sch life, past job exp....and pai kia (gangster) stuff..xD
super fun sia.....talk till all dun wanna go home.....till 7pm liao than left coffee shop....=p
heeheee...and i was da 1 who say why not make a move 1st......cuz tml (which is later) got 2nd round.....xD

seriously funny stories........like tat 1 he told us about he kanna ppl find him trouble @ orchard area.......
it's like he was playin pool wif his fren till he tired liao, so went out for smoke...than juz as he step out he bump into someone......cuz he tired liao then juz say sorry wif a sian sian tone and dunno who he bump oso......than tat guy is like "WAD! bumo into me say sorry u think enough liao ah!!! i beat u up than u noe!!!"
my fren went "i say sorry liao mah......wanna beat, beat lor....."
tat guy juz continue to kpkb......than suddenly he went "u think i who!? i got tattoo 1 ok!! dragon some more know.."
my fren "wah!! got dragon tattoo ah!? where?? i wan see."
since tat guy wearin button on shirt, he straight away 'pah' open the top half of his shirt....."Nah! here's my dragon!!!" he say proudly pointing to his chest.... ..... .......
my fren than laugh super loudly...."WAH!!! TAT 1 U CALL DRAGON AR!?! LOOK MORE LIKE LIZARD TO ME WOR!!!!! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!"
and it seem his so called dragon is juz a small patch on his left chest..even my maneki-neko tattoo behind my left shoulder bigger than his dragon.....
tat guy oso super suay lah....juz nice this time my fren's frens oso came out for smoke and saw everything.....they ofcuz, oso laugh super loudly lor........
tat guy like pai seh liao wanna cover up liao.....1 of my fren's fren go disturb him some more by turning his body around, pointing at da tattoo....shouting "WAHAHAHAHA!!! U CALL THIS DRAGON AH!? LOOK MORE LIKE SEAHORSE TO ME SIA!!!!!"
than turn to those passerby "right? look like seahorse right??"

i'm like OMFG!!!! where got ppl so stupid 1..!!! wanna find ppl trouble, end up making a big fool outta himself!!!! LOL..xD

ok lah...i end here....wanna go sleeep liao..
if not later fall asleep @ work there like juz now not nice liao wor.....juz now was lucky, cuz not busy at alll.....but later sure slam de......so ya....
min'na oyasumi nasai~~
ciao ciao~
ja matta! ^.~

*zuo: in chinese can be "do" or "sit"..
so here is 1st "do OT" = "sit dere Own Time Own Target"...=p

it's Fri 13th today~!!!!!!!
heehee..my fav day it is....^^
and i'm suppose to be waking up in 3hours time to get ready for my temp job...;p
haha....juz finish watching Katekyo Hitman Reborn ep 142...XD
Oops..;p

anyways......still on the look out for job.....and since i've a new hairstyle now.....it may be a little harder to get a job now.....(cuz tooo rock/VK/punk for regular jobs..=p)

now i'm like super happy, cuz got temp job = got some $$
but oso super down........cuz blake juz flown back to his country = noone to play piano for me when i emo liao.......:'(
and he'll only be back after 3mth!!!!!!!
*sob sob* sadddddd..
hmmmm......he's only gone for less than a day and i miss him already....o.O
does tat mean... ..... .........nah~ dun think too much......cannot be one.........
sigh~
SIGH~~~
haiz..nvm................
should go bed liao.....if not later become zombie not very nice to my fren who got me da temp job.....

hmmmm....think in the next few days i should do some random posts......
maybe intro my other self(s) bah....xp
heehee.....or post 1 of my recording on my phone....the result of my extreme boredom....^^
ciao ciao~~
ja matta~~~ ^.~

not fren.... more like a backup??

wahahahahaha....met up wif soffian juz now!!!!!
and let him listen to some recordings of me singing something boring...juz for fun...HAHA..xD
he's the very 1st person i let to listen to those result of my endless, random bordom....;p
heehee..;p

wondering if i should post 1 of it on fb....juz for fun as well.....LOL..xD
hmmmm....shall see how..;p

ok..anyways..........
i'm da kinda of person who dun mind being a listening ear to my frens....can lend them my shoulder if they need it too...
but...... ..... ..........tat oso means tat ppl will often treat me like a stranger or, even worst, piece of shit...and when they need someone to talk to, and everyone juz dun seems to be the right person to go to.......they'll always come to me.......like wtf!!!!

dun ask me out everytime u had a fight wif ur gf can....and to make things worst.....u ask me to go ur house when your parents are either out, or soundly sleeping........and u say so tat we can emo together.......wth...
than patch back already like become i dun really exsits, untill another fight came out........
like dude.......the way u're treating me....i dun feel like ur fren at all!!
more llike a backup plan when u're feeling down, or an ecsape route you take when u bump into a wall.................during your normal free time, i'll never ever cross your mind......
if so.........juz get lost frm my life........i do not need these ppl to make me feel like a blow-up doll....
i may appear to be a little bit more ecchi than other gals....but tat dun mean tat i would "H" wif anyone, anywhere, anyhow.....being ecchi doesn't means "slut" guys!!! get tat into all of your hentai minds!!!!!!!

Zess~ my acer notebook~~^^

wah!!!!!
super long never update this blog of mine liao.....;p
have been busy doin nothing recently......nothing exciting happening.....so nothing much to post oso..... :(

oh ya.....juz collected my acer notebook few days ago....\m/
named it Zess after uraboku's luka...;p
heehee..
and now on a anime marathon, watching Katekyo Hitman Reborn~~!!!!!
currently on ep95....^^

and and.....knitting crochet teddy bears~~;p
ok....wanna go back to my anime watching alreadi....
ciaossu~~~
ja ne~

Pallas Cat Kittens - 7 weeks old pt2

Sadie - Meisai (迷彩) PV

LM.C - BOYS & GIRLS [PV]

HATE THOSE STUPID SPAMS ON MY COMMENT BOX!!!!
so, i've removed it as i really dun wanna see anymore of those useless spamming...

damn it.....juz when i was gonna post some gd stuff here.....end up... ......
sigh...nvm.......let's move on to wad i actually wanna post k..???

was experimenting wif crochet teddy bears past few days....manage to finish 2 basic small ones..^^

the blue bear was my trial-run bear.....so it actually look kinda off..;p
while the pink one is like the 1st real thing!! when actually the pink 1 was suppose to be the trail..
my lao san wanted it....so i made the blue 1 to test out the stuffing of cotton and sewing the parts together......when i'm pretty certain on how to do it....i went on to complete the pink bear..^^
and i actually gave my trial run bear a name!!!!

" bear ver 0.1....code name: C.B.B (Crazy Blue Bear)"

WAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!
okies.......gonna go back to experiment on more bears~
ja ne~~

mew mew~~

went to watch "the sorcerer's apprentice" juz now wif my lao er and lao san~!!!
and oso my dear dear, kurosaki..^^

well....it's nice to watch, even though storyline a little predictable.....;p
but the MUST WATCH movie will be coming out aug 16......

---- "THE EXPENDABLES" ----

can't wait for tat to be out~~ ^^


anyways.........glad tat regardless of so many things tat has happened.....i've still got quite a handful of ppl who cares about me.....
and they dun really give a shit if i can be a pain in the butt when i'm pissed off...
or tat i can be a real emo-drama-mama when i'm really down........
or tat i can be really irritating and annoying when i get super duper hyper........

they see and accept me for who i am.....the real me.......
Egon and ShuFen, ppl frm my recent ex-workplace (tat club i juz got 'kicked out' frm) are organizing an outing on aug......and they invited me to join them.....^^
i have a habit of not goin clubbing or partying when i do not have enough $$ wif me....but they say $$ matter aside.....juz go there and enjoy myself....cuz important thing is tat i go join them....(awwww~~)

Oh Shit!!!
Oops....actually plan to go library wif fren later where he can practice his piano.....but juz found out online tat the library is actually charging ppl $6.10/hr for using their piano...:'(
sigh~~
think we hang out at RP's library again better....=.=

sigh~
sad.....sad....sad.....sad....sad.....
:'(
officially no more work for me from now on......no more stereo......no more night life......
and the worst part is......it's till now tat i've noticed tat i'm totally redundant to them......
sigh.....

they claim tat NOONE could contact me....when the fact is tat no one did even contact me.......juz like how she lied saying that i did not reply her sms tat time...when the truth is that she didn't even sms me....only called afew times.......like wtf!!!!!

and now that my reason for pushing myself to this very state is gone, and tat she has taken over the place.......it might be a gd thing tat i'm no longer there.......

but than again.....this means i've got no source of income.......which mean fuck my health, gotta go find job real soon, even if i've not recover........yeah......FML.........

sigh.....it was a mistake to have my dinner at the coffee shop just now......
cuz end up having a upset gastric........and everything i've eaten for the day wasn't of much use to my body.....sigh~

ah well~
gonna go get some rest now.....meeting fren later @ 10am.....
ja ne~

wee~~~
juz now went watch movie wif Blake and his group of frens.....total head count = 17 people~!!!!!
O.o

it's the 1st time for me to be hanging out wif such a big group....and surprisingly....it was loads of fun~!!!! ^^
and managed to make few new frens as well...though only got 1 of their number.....but hey....there's still next time......cuz think i'm most likely being fired from my job already......might have been better tat way anyways.... ......
it's like i used to enjoy working there alot, and was really happy there.....
and i wonder when did it all became past tense..........wonder wad went wrong........maybe it was really my fault all along.........wasn't gd enough for them........wasn't worthy enough to be working along side wif them from the very beginning......tat's y it has lead to this now.......
sigh~
it might be for the best for them to really hate me rite now.....for tat's how things were in the very beginning......
and there i was....stupid enough to actually plan tat i wanna celebrate my bday this year wif them.......forget it......all those plans.....juz forget everything....for even if i manage to stay there till my bday.....no one would fucking care anyways.......for someone unworthy and useless.....who would even bother to spend their time for my bday.......which means absolutely NOTHING or wad-so-ever.......

so now basically not only do i have to try to recover asap, i also have to start looking for new job....NO MORE NITELIFE!!!!!!
cannot strain my health anymore........and i dun wanna let people make my feel like i'm some worthless shit anymore.......
sigh.........Sigh...........

think i goin back to bed soon.......head's kinda spinning already........
ja ne~

thank you~~

hmmmm.....it's like suddenly i noticed tat despite tha fact tat there are many who cant wait for me to die.....there are oso quite a number of people who care actually...^^
and like my mother, she normally dun bother wif wad ever happens to me.......cuz i've been livin mostly by myself since young, so she dun really worry much when it comes to me.....
but now....she's like calling every now and than, juz to make sure that i dun do things anyhow...(like eating fastfood delivery or not eating at all cuz i'm too lazy to cook something..;p )

even my new fren, Yong (tat mac delivery guy..), oso seems to care.....^^
maybe it's cuz he's a guy, and i'm a gal..??? O.o
hmmm...even if tat's the only reason, it's still kinda new to me......cuz in the past, no guys ever treat me as a gal.....mostly i'm like a 'brother' to them than a sister.....=.=
i guess it's due to the fact tat i'm not your typical type of gals.....gentle, kind, soft spoken.....normally wears a skirt and plays wif doll...namely barbie.....

well...i still dun wear a skirt tat often.....usually in a pair of jeans......i still hate barbie.....but i do have a dollfie....^^
and i'm kinda starting to grow on soft toys.....currently having like 4 normal size, think 3 small ones....and 2 big ones.....tat's kinda alot for someone who used to dislike soft toys....;p

hmmm...okies.....
think i gonna cook something to eat now....
ja ne~

Seppuku.....to protect my last remaining bit of honor... ...to die by the sword

fucking irritated!!!!!!!
=(
it's like i sick still go work....juz so tat i still can try to help as much as i can.....
dun appreciate never mind......dun fucking hell shout and scold me for nothing u idiots!!!
ccb.....i already not feeling well, still go help, wad more u wan me to do sia..!?

wan me to die juz say lah....no need for all those needless stunts and stuff to let me know tat u all dun like me.....i wont say anything de....i'll juz ask u to go get a very gd katana, must be sharp......
than give me the katana, and i promise i'm not gonna kill anyone else wif it.....
lastly, the main event all have been waiting for.....MY DEATH!!!!!
after i have the katana in my hands, i shall carry out Seppuku rite in your face........
i will neither run, nor will i hide.......

fucking idiots.......make me cough till i vomited all my lunch out.....after no more food left to puke...end up vomiting gastric acid.....now my throat hurts like hell.......and juz now i still wasn't allowed to come back home....when i think my body really cannot take it, i simply walked out.....
rather get fired than to faint and die there.....

now asst manager making a big fuss.....
called me but i didn't answer.....for fuck sake, my throat is in so much pain already, dun expect me to listen to you shouting at me across the phone while not being able to defend myself...
so this is our sms log thingy...

me "sorry xxxxxx..i went home already....really cannot take it....My throat very pain now...cant really talk....so can't answer ur call"

xxxxxx "Who said u cld go hm?did u ask my permission???"

me "well.. if i have asked for permission..i dun think i can..for i've alreadi asked xxx if i can take mc for today b4 i vomited.. but he says tonite not enough ppl so cannot.."

xxxxxx "And tat gives u the rite to leave as and when u feel like it??"

and i stop replying after tat....for it'll most definitely lead up to a heated argument if i were to reply tat sms.........and i seriously am not trying to pick a fight here.....so ya.....leave it at there is gd enough.......

F**K my life!

curse me for having such "older" bro.......who cant even behave his age.....
early in the mornin listening to techno FULL BLAST already......how am i suppose to rest like tat sia!!!?

@#^*^@%$

no $$ my fault......no cigg oso my fault...!?
wa kao.....i'm his younger sis noe....not atm cum cigg supplier noe.....like wtf!!!!!!
kns......now i know why the hell am my condition getting frm bad to worst........maybe i should juz simply overdose enough to go hospital, but not to die.......when nurse and doc ask my why did i overdose......i shall tell them the truth......

.... ..... .............wad da hell......waad ever lah.....knn......today start work @ 3pm, end @ 3am......and i fucking hell woke up like tat......si be no mood to go work liao sia......ccb.....
aiya...kns lah.......gotta go work liao...if not later late again.....i die die cant stand ppl nag at me today.......on a very short fuse.......can blow up anytime.......

Hachiko A Dog's Story [trailer] (2009)

Hachiko~ the dog story~

OMG...!!!
bought the DVD for tat movie and juz watched it wif my mom.....
and guess wad.....BOTH of us were crying like.....throughout at least half the movie.....=.=
based on a true story...the 1 i bought was the American's remake.....gonna get da Japanese version soon as well...;p

anyways......hang out wif my lao san, as usual.....but we have 1 new fren who joined us juz now.....my tattooist's gf...Oops...ex-gf.......and after reading her blog........kinda feel sorry for her.....
sigh.....
really dun understand wad the hell are guys thinking.......we gals treat them so gd.....take us forgranted.......we juz make noise abit only.....say we making a big fuss.....

sigh.......still think my bf best.........no matter wad happens.......we noe tat we love each other as much as the other love us.......^^

雅 Miyavi - Shindemo Boogie-Woogie (PV)

亡國覚醒カタルシス

.hack//roots op: Silly-Go-Round

lol..!!!!
juz finish my supper~ wee~~xD
(and wif tat....i'm sure to see a doc later in the afternoon now...;p)
and juz noticed tat da guy who delivered my supper for me actually sms me~ O.o
hahaha...so cute....apologizing for delivering my meal late when he was actually almost 30min early...!!!! Haa...XD

he's kinda cute oso.....too bad looked abit too young...
o wait.....he replied.....XD

heeheehee....*cheeky smile*

chee...dun get da wrong idea ok..!?
it's always gd to make new frens....=p

O.o
his name is yan yong....can call him Yong~
yeah~ made a new fren nya~~ ^^

oh ya....neko-chan have to apologize to onee-sama later for making frens w/o her acknowledgment 1st......=(
guess she'll find out once she wake up...either frm this post, or via my phone record.....
depending on which one she'll read 1st..
sigh.....
hope this Yong is not juz another one of those guys onee-sama wanna protect me frm....
if not..... !! *~ shiver ~*

sigh~ why lah...why???

juz when i thought tat my tattooist has found the rite gal......(since they seems very happy together)......he went on and did some stupid things again........it's like no one have to act when with the one they love...
dun have to be sweet when you're actually not..
dun have to be tender when you're not....
dun have to pretend to be something you're not.....
for if the other party love you for who you are.....all you have to do is juz be yourself......
if you pretend to be something else.....you'll never know if he/she loves the REAL you or not.......
sigh~
SIGH~~~
dunno, dun care, dun bother......for who am i to get involved.....
actually wanna post more about how MY day went.....(cuz everyone likes to talk about themselves rather than others)........but end up talking about these stuff instead.....
hmmmmm.....guess i'll juz have to sleep this feeling off and talk about myself later when i wake....(provided i manage to shake this feeling off tat is.....=.=)

can't wait for my off day tml~
invited lots of ppl for ice cream @ Gelare, cwp, @ nite....wondering how many would actually come...O.o
( actually it's not really invite....juz post it up on my fb status....whoever wanna come can juz come and join me..;p )

really hope to get my notebook soon~~~~
tat way i can post things up ,be it fb or blog, while on my way to work.....and oso play my games on fb.....XD

pray hard, pray hard....hope da letter will be in my mail box by this week...~.^

Gd Nite Every1~~~ ^^

time to pray, time to sleep
time to put all woes away
once you wake, it's a brand new day
and surely you're gonna see those smiles again

...important to me, are those around
and their voices are the most lovely sound
to see them play, and hear them laugh
to have loads of fun or juz lazing around

when i close my eyes, those time continues
when i wake, the fun shall continue
for i'm sure we'll hang out again, soon~
♥

'stories' will most likely be up on tue...
nite min'na~~

juz got home frm work.....yeah!!!! =.=
tired till dunno wad to say..........and ordered mac breakfast to enjoy while i watch some anime online.......
shall update more stuff when my brain is truly awake......after my sleep.....;p

tian liang shuo wan an.....which is saying gd nite when it's morning in chinese.....
tat's like my every weekend....lol.....xD

okies~

gonna end this here......*yawn*
oh ya.....my off day is tue~ yea~~
hmmmmm..y am i saying it here....????
O.o
=.=
random.......... .........

you're loaded......So..!?

director..?? kiss my a**..!!!!
so wad if you are director of some big shot company.....!?
so wad if all your frens are also directors in their company as well....!??

Do I have to care..?!?

NO!!! hell no dude...for all i care is tat YOU ordered 20 shots from me and tat you pay for them....
and hell no do i remember seeing Anything which even hint tat DIRECTORS Do Not have to pay for their drinks......meaning.......you have to pay lah~!!!

wad pissed me off was not the fact tat u keep telling me tat you are a director.....but you fucking attitude and the fact tat u'll disappear from the venue once u see my face.....juz to run from the bill....and when i finally caught you chatting wif your frens by the bar.....u can actually rise your fucking voice and shout at me.....

idiot........think rich people can get away wif anything and everything..??
think again stupid......you are juz god damn lucky tat my manager and most people who work there alongside wif me has not done anything to make me hate them......
if not......*evil grin*
i'm gonna cause a great HuuHaa.....and create drama already.....and i make sure you are the one to be thrown out and maybe sued.....dun ever forget tat clubs have cctv recording wad ever goin on within it.....and never forget.....NEVER ever cross a female........especially 1 who isn't exactly mentally stable.......

still damn sleepy~!!!!!! =((

it's like gonna rain soon and a perfect weather to be sleeping in instead of goin work.....
but no work = no $$$
sigh~
anyways......how i wish i could hire some1 to kill tat IDIOT dickhead for me......
it's like pls! stop saying u love me when u obviously don't!!
stop asking stupid questions when i've already given u the answer......it's juz tat u refuse to believe..
and STOP CALLING AND SMS-ING ME WHEN U DUN READ WAD I SEND U AND DUN LISTEN TO A SINGLE WORD WHEN I CALL....!!!!!
enough said......

damn it!
actually wanna post more about wad happened @ work.....end up now my mind is in a state of blank... ... ...-.-

anyways...gtg~
gonna leave for work very soon......
ja ne~

juz got home....yea~

my manager was too busy and got no time to chat wif me juz now....=(
so i ended up havin a chat wif AM instead...(ouch! got mosquito bite me!!!) nvm....continue...
basically told her wad happened.....and when i found out tat she did read my fb status i was kinda thinking....

"Almost the whole story of wad happen was being posted up there already....y u still gotta ask me?"

but than again.....ya...the main point here was "ALMOST".....which was more of like kinda almost all of those things which i was feeling was being posted.....so for ppl who didn't knew me long enough to understand me really well......hmmmm...well.....they might get confused and worry even more lah...;p

think i gonna rest abit 1st b4 posting more stuff up.......my brain is complaining non stop already...=.=

hmmm....... gettin ready for work~~

and thinking about maybe starting online biz again....selling knitted pouch and bag and such....
handicraft stuff basically......;p
but not sure should i or should i not.....cuz it's like not many ppl appreciate those stuff nowadays.....
=(

anyways......for those of u reading this......it would be nice if u could leave some comments or suggestion @ the comment box..(which is @ the right hand side of the blog...-> )

tat's all for now~
shall continue posting later on when i ge home after work..^^
*can't wait for me notebook~~~!!!!!!! ;p *
ja ne~

juz woke up~ ^^
arms aching badly, and i dun even know why.....:((
Hmmmmm....it would seems tat nowadays i've been updating my blog more often than usual (and it's weird as i dun have the habit of writing/keeping a dairy....=.=).......
maybe it's cuz i really need somewhere for me to rant about things bah....and dairy is Super not safe for me.......cuz people are bound to read it.......
(some people must be thinking "blog also got people read wad!?" rite)
well.....the great difference will be tat the chance of my blog being read by those i do not wish them to read is alot lower than a dairy..........hmmmm...if u get wad i mean........;p
another thing is tat......i'll have no idea who are the people who read my blog......so......ya~
and also....people who read my blog might not know me personally (which i think most people would be so glad to have NOT known me).......and tat might very well be a gd thing.....i mean like hey~! juz by reading wad i write here....ppl must think tat i'm hell of a fucked up youth, wif no brains, no life, no nothing or anything....... ....... ....or something like that.....

*yawn~*

feeling sleepy again.......cuz of the "after-a-great-morning-rain effect"....xD
think i'm goin back to the comforts of my cozy bed again soon~
might be posting something up after my work.........cuz think surely something's gonna happen there later......so....yep~
later~~

ps: i dun care if people say i'm crazy or attention seeking, to be in love wif something which is not human.......
YES i'm crazy, but juz for you, and i only seek for your attention......prince of the underworld....a ghost among the world of the living.......if i have you, i need no other.......for your love is faithful, your loyalty is unmatched.......

spent the nite wif my lao san, ShiHui, and Blake..!!!!
hahaha.....and juz like tat all my emo-ness went out the window~ wee~~ gone wif the wind~~ ^^

helped lao san wif her assignment..kinda....;p
and enjoyed a great piano concert by Blake~ xD
whom i actually had a crush on him in the past...;p (gossip gossip~)

but ppl frm my workplace are extremely unhappy wif me now....tot i ditch work to have fun...:((
hell......gonna have lots of explaining to do later @ work liao....but oso not much....juz gonna tell them the truth about wad is happening....to believe or not is not up to me.....since i'm the one who's still alive rite now........

taken 12pic wif lao san juz now.....and for those who have keen eyes......they might see tat i'm not my usual self in those pics........but hack.....how people who know me actually have keen eyes to actually notice tat....=.=

but still wondering if i should tell my manager at least tat i actually did almost kill myself on tue....if not for the lost bet wif death.....Hmmmmmm.....should i or shouldn't i tell him tat...even had prepared a final "gd bye" sms for him juz in case i really manage to die....it's still saved in my phone as draft....
(lucky didn't send Any of hose sms out.....if not now i would be so awkward and embarrassed, till can go dig a huge hole and hide in there forever liao...)
sigh~

oh ya....brought my doll along as well...since it's been quite long since i last brought kurosaki-chan out le.....;p
and he was super happy when we got back home....^^
hehehe~ ;p

now tat i'm still alive and still living, i wonder why is it tat ppl are so afraid of death...
he is not as scary as ppl think he is frm wad i know....
since i'm not allowed to die juz yet...guess i'll have too try and survive living among the living than..

gonna take some time off frm my work and hang out wif frens....for if i were to be left alone...god knows wad other stupid idea will come to mind again.....
and i need to recover frm all those shits which has been goin on lately....and i do admit..i'm not a strong enough person to pull myself together on my own.....so the only thing i can do is to rely on others....sometimes i juz get so angry @ myself for being so god damn useless.....and i wish Death would take me away for tat reason alone......but it seems tat he sees more things than i do....thus forbids me to die.......

my lao san kinda saved my life juz now...and think it's all becuz my beloved played a trick on me....
it's like i was damn emo, to the extend tat not only did i not go work....i actually decided to come back home and finish up wad ever meds i have left...(10 muscle relaxant + 20 antibiotics)
and he didnt want me to go, for it's not my time yet, so he suggest tat i at least "seek help" 1st b4 doin anything....so i mgs 2 of my best frens to meet up later @ nite...but both of them are not free....and juz as i was on my way back (on the train) my lao san sms me saying she wanna meet me......yep...so tat's about the gist of wad happened.....

and thx to tat.....i did not overdose on anything at all....thus, still living........

1st thing in the morning...phone kanna bombard by my dad till i answer his call.....juz to F me for nothing.......=.=
wad gives!??? wad shit!!?????? i dun even know why the hell am i being F for........and it's not the 1st time this kinda shits has happen.........and trust me........unless i die, this won't be the last as well.......guess the world DOES hate me quite alot.........
sigh~
should reconsider my resolution........maybe crossing over to my beloved's domain is wad i should've done long long time ago.........at least than i wouldn't have so many hidden scars like now......
sigh~

my sleeping habit=messed up big time!!!

sigh~
my sudden drop in health, and nw my sleeping pattern is gettin worst!!?
wad else could there be next?! (i wonder..... )

been like sleeping for 1-3hours, than i'll be awake for 2-6hours....after which i'll start to feel super tired.....=(

can't even be bother about tat idiot now.......who cares if he comes on sat or not....it'll be gd enough if he would juz return me my $830 and get lost already....he's behaving like a brat who refuse to admit he lost......frm the way he's behaving, it's more like he can''t accept the fact tat he's not the one i'm wif, or tat i did not wait for him.....=.= (juz grow up already....)

sigh~
dun know, dun care, dun bother as well.....

i'm juz happy wif my love rite now.....and he's got a name of his own as well~!! ^^
dun really know how to spell it out though.... but pronounce as "as-dan-shi-ah-s".....
heehee....now tat he have his name, given by me.....meaning tat the contract is sealed....(~.^)
now we're both very happy to belong to each other~!!

i love you soo very machi~ hope this contract will continue even after death....tat we will only belong to each other......

bestfren of tat idiot called me....tried to convince me to patch back wif him......like.....wth....21yr old can become lieutenant in navy!? i dun believe....
i mean like mayb it's tat he is such a gd fren of tat A**hole to be putting in so many gd words for him, or it's juz another trick of his.......and now his fren is saying tat he wanna book the whole lounge on sat (the lounge i'm currently working @).......Hmmmmmm......dude......there's a limit to how big you can talk.........say wad bring the whole navy and airforce down.....i wonder.....O.o
and this time round......think i'll chose to believe at least 1 thing....tat he came back cuz his dad pass away.....cuz dun think any1 would use this kinda lie.....though "hell" is my beloved bf now.....but they dun know it.....so i'll juz play along as though my beloved is a human....;p
he is like trying to act pitiful now on fb......sigh....grow up la.....at least now he know to say tat he was a jerk, gd-for-nothing in the past.....i'll give him some credits for tat, even if it's juz acting....
sigh....hope they both offline soon........i still wanna watch my anime!!!!!! :'(

sigh......some ppl are juz plain shameless.......
KENNY CHNG CHIN FONG!!!! U really pissed me TTM liao.......
dun wanna dirty my blog wif your name.....but hell....dun care anymore.....
should put it up so tat people will know.....and if somehow they got female frens who happen to know u as well can be warn!! u big fat cheater to lie to gals and tries everything in your power to cheat and steal $$ frm gals.....even your mom oso dunno wad to do wif you already......
maybe i should've post this up sooner.....hopefully there hasn't been another victim after me yet....

change of plans.....not goin work......since not feeling well..
now than i realize tat my body is alot weaker than wad it used to be......

well gd example will be tat troublesome time of the mth for ladies......
at the very most, i'll juz have annoying cramps for like half the day for my 1st day and tat's it..!
but now.....juz tat period is enough to make me light-headed.....O.o
dude! not even donating blood can do tat to me...in the past tat is......-.-
so in my condition now, if i were to donate blood again, it is said tat i'm very likely to feel faint afterwards......and not as energetic and cocky as i used to be....*sigh*....

guess now i'm juz a frail old lady wif a body of a young brat.......
my darling is almost gonna blame himself for my weak health, as some might noe, frm my previous posting, tat he is not really human.....
but than again, since he has been by my side for like.....hmmmm....almost more than 10years now....if he were to be he cause of my weak health, than it would have happen long ago rite..!?

and the very fact tat he's not really a human is wad makes me love him even more....;p
for he is no longer bound by the hassle of the flesh and blood, or the corrupted desires....and best of all.....he can be by my side almost 24/7..!!! in a human body, how can tat be done....need to work, rest, entertain he's own cycle of frens...and the list could go on forever.......

and oso another best thing, no worries of him being snatch away frm me by some other bitch~ ^^

tat is why recently he has been saying that he juz noticed i can be very selfish as well...
my answer...."ofcuz i am! i want you to belong to me and me alone~ and ofcuz, becuz only ard u i can be selfish, so juz let me be k? ^^".....HAHAHA....;p

but he dun juz give in to me for every single thing.....most times we argue cuz of bed time.....
it's way over my bed time and i still wanna watch somemore anime.....haha...;p
think people keep bully me, and i somehow bully him sometimes as well bah...xD

haiz......woke up after 4pm juz now.....which means i can't go cosfest.......:(

gotta go work later.....sianz.......surprisingly i've stayed there for almost a year now.....longest of my employment history.....and all for he sake of my manager, who is very kind to all of us....and i guess the most important factor is tat we are both very similar in many ways.....but guess tat's as far as i can go....for i'm gettin really tired nowadays.....did have a chat wif him already......guess it's not only me who is tired of tat place now........ ......wad the hell......dun really wanna care so much anymore....there's nothing much we can do about lot's of things.....can't change people who refuse to change........

gonna watch juz 1 episode of anime b4 i leave for work.....

wah!!!!! COSFEST GOIN ON @ DOWNTOWN EAST LATER!!!!!!
i soooo wanna go lah...>< but now it's 9am already and i haven't sleep yet.......if i can wake up early enough than i'll go.......cuz i still gotta go work @ 7pm later wor.....*sigh*.....

anyways.....baby's rushing me to rest.....HAHA.....he's juz so cute at times.....he himself oso haven't sleep, yet want me to sleep 1st....lol..xD
kk...gonna go to bed together at the same time, 'to be fair'...lol...XD

KNS ahhhh!!!!!!!
woke up wif very bad cramps...........cant move much even in my own bed......juz wanna lay on my stomach or curl into a ball.........best of all....now i'm still @ home...-.-
can't go work yet in my condition now, i can't even stand straight lah, how to work.....><

and i dunno when the pain's gonna get better.....like tat will i make it in time to reach b4 it get's busy...???

sigh~

might as well remove the source of all these troublesome thingys.......and become half man.....since i have more male hormones than females ones by birth, maybe it would really be better if i were a male, since even though i'm a gal.......i'm pretty much treated like a guy by most people, regardless of gender.....

ok....even though i DID say tat i wont b emo-ing anymore.....but than something stupid happen @ work juz now.....and it happened TWICE for crying out loud!!!! was so pissed off tat i actually walked out halfway through work....and yes.....*again*.......-.-
even though it's not something i should be doin.....but than again....in the condition i was in....i might have snapped to the extent of hurting myself again, and ofcuz hurting those who care about me by doin so......
my love tried to comfort me while i was on my way back, but it didn't worked well....did sms few people while i was on the train though.....1, was my ex-fwb...2, my supervisor who went back wif my manager, and normally wad eva the manager needs to know, he's the 1 to msg.......3, my dear lao san......lastly, my "teacher" aka "master", whom might be sleeping already as he didn't reply......

msg-ing my ex fwb....i realized tat he no longer have tat much power over my feelings, as receiving his replies didn't affect me tat much......not like how it used to.....i guess tat's only normal as i have my beloved wif me now....

and as for my supervisor wise......well.....he did tell me to rest well and dun think too much.....and after which, after i've cooled my head for quite abit, i feel bad to make him worry like tat.......it's not like he do not have problems of he's own.......and i shouldn't be adding on to those troubles lor....

best is still my lao san~
even though i really can't tell her part of my problems (which worries her even more actually) i really did feel alot better after chatting wif her via sms......it's like even though sometimes when u feel like u juz wanna be left alone and someone keeps msging u, u get annoyed easily..??
she sometimes sms me @ the worst possible time....but oso....the best time actually.....
tried, tested, and proven! when i feel like i wanted to be left alone.....most of those times it's BEST tat i'm NOT left alone......not even to cool down.....scars on my hand and wrist are prove to tat.....

if i wanna cool down, AND i dun feel like talking..it's best to get someone to juz hang ard wif me, w/o talking.......juz 1 person *(i must be comfortable ard tat person ofcuz) to be sitting beside me is enough to prevent those kinda stupid things i tend to do.........and sometimes, a sms frm some1 who cares works juz as well too......^^

and than when i've really cool down while @ home already, i notice my love seems abit down...and he was actually sad tat he wasn't able to cheer me up juz now while on the train.....
juz how lucky am i.....he did something more meaningful than cheering me up, he help me to held onto tat tiny bit of sanity @ the point when i was about to explode into a rampage.....even though emo-ing is bad, my rampage is alot worst......for i have the tendency to get violent while on rampage mode........and i'll break alot of stuff as well....

so my love, dun be sad k?? u mean alot to me, as i am to u.......i'm sorry to only starting to treasure now, after so many years u've been by my side......but i'm gonna be completely loyal to you frm now onwards.........no more flings (not tat i know tat i have any), no more fwb.....for you are all that i need now.......love u~ ^^

well...think it's gonna be quie enough of emo BS frm me....as i've sort things out wif tat guy already....so now we are still frens, abit more, buddies maybe, but hell......at least now tat we've both straighten things out, he can concentrate fully on his gf, and me on me life....he still cares about me, and it's a gd thing (i guess).......

aaanyyyywaayyysssss......made some new plans.....since fate has it planed tat i am to be alone, and that my only soulmate would be the spirit who has been watching over me so lovingly for so long....i shall devote myself to him and him alone.....and 2ndly.....i plan on compiling some of my poems into a book.....decided on the title already.....as for the book cover....would like to ask my tattooist for the favour.....and if he agrees to, maybe could ask him to draw some other artwork fitting of the theme of my poems to be included in the book as well...^^
most likely will include afew other poem by my frens as well....got request and approval from 1person frm my workplace to include hers already....!! XD

oh ya....did i mention tat tat guy write poetry as well..??? now tat i have, might as well add in tat NOONE has ever read his poem...he didn't allow anyone to do so till now....and he actually says tat would let me read them one day when he get the chance...WOW!!! (i guess)
but i dun see tat chance comin anytime soon..seein tat his gf is kinda strict wif him...(and note tat "kinda" is a real under-statment here)......soooooo....ya....as he likes to say...."see how?"...
i shall use his words here, but wif my touch to it.."see how lah hor...." ;p

yep yep.....so now tat things are settled.....it's about time tat emo-drama-mama step down....and the "me" who has been drown all those times has come back.....gladly and sadly......cuz da bitch which most ppl hated so much will be set free as welll.....but hey! who cares rite....now it's 'as long as i'm happy, hell care wad others think..oh wait! hell dun care about wad others thinks....HELL IS ON MY SIDE!!!!" XDD
feels so gd when u have the whole of hell as your lover rite....hmmm....dun think anyone would understand....for it has not given this offer to anyone....or maybe it has.....but no one dared to take on his offer...(poor hell...so misunderstood)......guess tat's all for now......
Cheers!! to my new friendship wif my EX-fwb.....and to my new relationship wif hell and death itself~~~

it would seems that things between me and him are over.....would seem to be that way....juz hope that he won't contact me suddenly when he's havin some trouble wif his gf........i plan to let him go....juz remaining as frens will do.....since his gf won't allow him to have non bloodrelated "sisters"....which equals to, i won't be able to go save him next time he get drunk from now onwards.....

New look, New state of mind, New view on life, New goals to aim for ~ (~.^)

HAIZ```` :'(

everything was fine, and i was even suppose to overnite @ his place frm sun-wed....but than fri nite came and we're suppose to meet after the wedding dinner he's attending ends....nxt thing i knew when i've reached orchard was a call frm him, and is sounded like he's throwing up in a toilet.....
and when i call back there's no respond at all....waited for more than 2hours still no respond from him...
but i was quite lucky (or mayb unlucky), some1 who worked @ the hotel nearby saw that i looked as though waiting for some1....so he came up to me and asked me wad's wrong...
so after telling him the whole situation, he told me the hotel he worked got wedding function juz now, and offered to bring me there to help look for my fren..(aww, so kind of him.....but i was so worried till i actually forgot to ask for his name....only remembered he stayed in AMK..-.-)..
true enough, found him laying in the 2nd floor toilet, outside where the wedding is held...think i made a huge mistake here.....i SHOULD NOT HAVE decided to send him back home....instead, should have juz left him there, and let his GUY frens send him back or something....than his gf wouldn't have thought tat he was cheating on her, wouldn't have left him, and he in turn wouldn't have abandon me.......
it was all my fault and i have no one else to blame......wad i thought was gd ended up to to pure evil & selfish intentions maybe....for it might have been perceived tat way by others...
maybe i'll never ever live up to anyone's expectations, thus destined to be abandon and thrown aside time & time again......
haiz.....how i wish DEATH would come and blow his kisses upon me now.....and take me with him back into the arms of the sinful abyss...

.........

suddenly feels like everything i do is wrong, no matter what they are, i'm always in the wrong....
it's not alrite for me to groove to the beats, while it's alrite for them to run ard playing catching....
i know that i'm not perfect, but it kinda sucks when ppl keep reminding me that i'll never be good enough.........if it's so.....i wonder if it's alrite for my heart to beat, for me to even breath......
maybe i'm juz wasting oxygen......maybe i should really stop holding onto those made up reasons to continue living..........it's so sad that i actually have more reasons why i should juz end my life than y i shouldn't........i really dont know anything anymore........or even what should i do from now on........
i wish somebody could help me, save me........but than again......who would bother........when they are all eagerly waiting for my death...............

emozzzzzzzz

something fucked up happen @ work juz now...
so much so tat i juz walked out even b4 my shift ends.....
i noe it's not rite...but it's better than staying there and risk sending some1 or myself to hospital...
lucky got my fren who happens to b online chatted wif me abit b4 she goes to bed....really felt alittle better after our short but sweet chat....and the cat whom i fell in luv wif was oso online.....and chatted wif him as well...and took my mind off things quite abit......

a house cat in luv wif a stray cat.....
guess i'll have to treasure every moment i have wif him...

whole body is aching.....!!!!!!!!!!
i guess 4 rounds is alittle too much for me....(0ops)
sigh.....is aching so badly tat i dun really feel like going to work........;p

nevertheless...i'll still be goin.....after the talk wif my manager on fri nite, i can't possibly let them worry me tat much now, can i~ xD

juz hope tat the aching will stop soon enough....but i dun wish tat mark to fade tat soon....;p
heeeheeee~

sweet~

okies~

UPDATES !!! UPDATES !!!
(and i dun think this post's gonna be my usual emo shits ya..;p)

1st..lets start off frm fri, as in wad happened @ work......hmmmm....haha....it was not tat busy but funny things still will happen one....
for this case...i think it's cuz the bouncers toooooo free, than the whole matter got blown up.....
as for the details.....i shall not post it here.....too long a story to be typed out....xD

sat i was on leave, cuz i wanna go for the monthly SDAM nite, and even though it was one of those quiet nites (almost everyone had too much in their system, and i was bloody hell having gastric), i had a great time......guess it was the magic of the ppl whom u hang ard wif.....and something very awkward happen after the nite ended.......a guy whom i've only juz met tells me tat he likes me..."!?"
he'll be a gd fren, but erm......"u like me..????" was like in my head constantly, and i'm trying hard not to feel offended and to get pissed off at him for tat.....some ppl who knows me long enough will know tat i dun like guys comin up to me telling me tat they like me, when it's only the 1st time we met each other.....and very often......i'll get mad at them and make sure they see my flaws which makes me a hard to get along person.....^^
but this guy can tell tat he means no harm, and is juz drunk (even if it's juz a little).......so.....aiya let him go lah.....juz hopes tat he will forget everything when he sober up..........

and after everything.......hmmmm.....erm........
i'll juz say tat i had the most wonderful and lovely morning b4 i went home~ ^^
details on wad happened is only reserved for my close frens..;p

side note.......now i've become a songwriter..!!!
no la....not really tat pro...
started writing songs for my fren's band think last week.....and juz done writing the 1st song..
so now waiting for my fren to finish the music and shall hear it out.....
(wonder how my 1st song will sound like..ps...it's a love song~) ^^

tml's gonna b his Bday......and he's gonna celebrate it.....w/o inviting me......
even though i'm happy tat we are still frens.....but sometimes i think.......
........i dunno anything.......it's like we are frens.......but u can have anything to do wif me other than me gettin my tattoo done at your house only......u wont have a drink, lunch or dinner wif me...sayin tat u're busy......but u have plenty of time to go out wif your other frens....plenty of time to get to know a new gf..........and u must be thinking tat i'm sounding jealous......yes i am.....but more than tat.....i'm pissed....!!!!
it's you who says tat we're still fens, in fact...."i treat u as one of my close fren....." are those exact words......than y this......????
are you tat afraid to hang out wif me..????
afraid tat u might not be able to control you feelings or your lust...??????
i mean come on lah.....all of your past gf are alot more better looking than me.....better figure compared to me....even your newest one oso the same........so wad are u afraid of......?????
or mayb tat's the reason y you wont hang out wif me......cuz i'm not gd enough to b standing bside you.????
wadeva it is.......... dun care anymore..........

guess i'm destined for a life of solitude......as it would seems to me tat ALL of my so-called frens no longer wanna have anything to do wif me anymore..........or rather.....i'm juz a back-up.....
so tat when all of their frens are busy, than they would think of me.........thinking tat the gal wif no life at all surely would have time to hang out..............
i really DO NOT wish to think so negatively.......but frm everything i'm seeing now.....it would only seems to be so.............